Working in the old vegetable garden at Checkley, I never fail to marvel at the ingenuity of the Victorians, the practical knowledge of practical men. The practical woman of course was Cook, she stood between the lady of the house and the Head Gardener when it came to veg. The two of them were of equal status, but she decided what was required and rejected the over ripe or past their best. It was only when it came to flowers that the Head Gardener got face time with the lady of the house, but there he was up against real talent. It was thought appropriate that every well brought up young woman should have the artisanal skills of interior design. Flowers, perfectly grown to survive a long time indoors were required so they could be crafted into table decorations or worn as accessories. That was the order of the day, sometimes every day!
Such musing helped me focus and endure the tedium of field work. Pruning vines using traditional methods is at one and the same time skilled and extremely repetitive. Meanwhile Charlie was probably using more muscle in the woods. She could hack more than I, but required equal accuracy so as not to expend unnecessary energy. Efficiency was what kept you on your feet all day. Nonetheless I was thinking of lunch well before lunchtime, and perhaps that’s the way it should always be.
Coming back down to the house it was the smell of fresh bread and homemade soup that hit me as I scrapped the mud from my wellies. I promptly legged it to the kitchen.
‘Job done?’ Asked the wicked Uncle.
‘I’m not that quick, still the end is in sight. You should really walk that garden at least twice a week between now and harvest.’
‘Just as you say. So, when are we going to bottle the 2018?’
‘I was rather afraid you were going to ask that. The thing is…’ I was interrupted mid-flow by my mobile. ‘Intriguing, it’s Jack “Can you deliver new car for us? A.S.A.P No one else available. Client says he knows you. I’m to say it’s the German Shepherd”. Well bugger me, sorry, but I’m going to ring back right away.’
Jack picked-up almost at once. ‘..I’m here with my nearest and dearest ..and relatives ..and kindly do not refer to her as Sparky! ..I know they’re just a bunch of grease monkeys! If they want to be cheeky, she is Charlie to her friends, now then, the German Shepherd was at the top of the Massif Central when last heard of ..Good lord! ..Really! Well yes it does have a certain logic to it, we do both know the car, use to left-hand drive and French roads for sure, but really do you realise how far that is? ..at least that from here, it’ll take for ever with the ferry and we won’t be able to open her up until well beyond halfway! ..I do think so, if my motor was anything to go by ..right well I’ll consult, good afternoon to you too. Did you get all that?’
‘Practically none of it! For a start who is the German Shepherd?’ replied Julia.
‘We were at university together, belonged to the same dining club.’
‘Smash-up any good restaurants by any chance? Male-only I suppose.’ Interjected Uncle.
‘Absolutely not, we usually had female guests. That was when Daphne and I were an item, come to think of it, I think she was there the night I met Hans.’
‘Who’s Hans?’ Asked Charlie.
‘The German shepherd of course. He is German, and he is a shepherd. And that’s the thing, we were always speculating about dream jobs, lifestyles; because, you know we were all rather afraid we’d end up doing something dreary. I well remember Daphne said she’d just like to carry on doing what she was doing right now, and I suggested she could if she made herself into a female Master of Wine. She did in fact work for a traditional wine merchant for a while before she met Barmy, but I suspected she quite fancied Hans, anyway Hans said he would breed rare sheep and the last I heard, about ten years ago was...’
‘Yes, I think we get the picture. Now who is Jack?’
‘Tony’s friend, the dodgy secondhand car dealer.’
‘No, no, no. She’s winding me up. Jack runs a classic car dealership and a filling station, the car that needs delivering is brand new, under five hundred on the clock, same model as mine only left-hand drive. Jack’s doesn’t have a regular driver, just anyone who’s at hand, and anyway it turns out Hans is still up the same mountain.’
‘So what’s A.S.A.P about it? I hope you’re not proposing to leave us in the lurch?’
‘Well, Jack’s in a sort of a hole, contractual obligations, agreed price, second instalment on the set delivery date. We get a holiday, pick up the cost of travel. Then Jack will owe me one.’
‘You’re prepared to go to all that trouble for this chap?’
‘Well he is a pal.’
‘Tony is sort of informally in business with him, I can’t pretend to understand. Most of the time no actual cash seems to change hands.’
‘Well, we just do the occasional favour for each other, very useful bloke to know, keeps me in touch with the seamer side of life.’
‘How’s Daphne’s mother?’ Julia broke in.
‘I beg your pardon?’
‘Sorry, I’m still several minutes behind, strange woman but I liked her when we met at their wedding, obviously we were all a bit distracted by the slight unpleasantness, but nonetheless.’
‘Er, okay I think, gets roped into looking after the kids a lot.’
‘They have children?’ Interrupted Charlie. ‘I thought this wedding was quite recent.’
‘It was, a couple of years ago. We’re still trying to work out why. Even then the two girls were ten and eight?’
‘Something like that. She was anxious I should know how happy she was because now it was all official, I don’t think she was quite sober, she ended up confiding far too much about the problems Daphne had conceiving.’
‘How does a sheep breeder afford a new version of your luxury motor?’
‘Well, he must be a success. Although I confess when I was there before things were pretty spartan and of course miles from anywhere.’
‘There is no money in keeping a rare breed. Besides, everything is done in labs on industrial estates in the larger rural towns these days.’
‘Well I guess we’ll find out. Are you up for this Charlie?’
‘Oh yeah, I like a bit of rallying.’
‘You won’t want to, believe me, once you’re behind the wheel it will feel very different to our mean machine.’
‘So you are going to run out on us!’
‘It needs some planning, I’ll think it through in the garden this afternoon, then get online this evening. As for the bottling, I think it may be far too early, you may have to keep on calming that juice down first!’
Before bed Charlie and I conferred. ‘I’ll finish in the vines tomorrow morning, after lunch we head home, grab extra warm clothing, walking kit etc. Just in case. Leave our car with Jack, pick up the new car and the documents, find out how I’m supposed to hand over the vehicle in exchange for the final payment, head off for the night sailing to Brittany.’
‘What could go wrong?’ She said, rolling her eyes.
‘All manner of things, but flexibility and a preparedness for the unexpected is the order of the day.’
‘And you need to find out how Hans got to know you would be the driver?’
‘You seem to be learning more from me, than I’m learning from you.’
‘Oh! Just you wait sunshine, just you wait!’
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