‘Our bags are packed, sir.’
‘Excellent, and I have all the gizmos we’ll need here in my office bag. So, let us highest hither.’
‘You said via the Park, what commissions today?’
‘Not a commission Charlie, this one is a shakedown, as our American cousins would say. I’ve summoned Prudence to a crash meeting, this is where she gets to understand her role in proceedings. And this is a two-hander, remember Frimley?’
‘I’m not exactly Prue’s favourite person.’
‘Precisely.’
‘Good morning madam. Anthony has asked me to send his apologies, but he’ll be a few minutes late, can I get you something to drink?’
‘Well, it has turned eleven, coffee Sparkwell.’
Behind the scenes I loitered, counting to one hundred. ‘Prudence! How were the Chateaus of the Loire?’
‘You didn’t call me here to discuss my honeymoon. This had better be good, I had to leave Rory alone with a constituent in order to be here.’
‘Yes, I imagine it must be quite tricky learning the finer points of the benefits system, the difference between disability this, employment allowance that...’
‘Get to the point.’ At which moment Charlie arrived, placing a tray with one large coffee pot, a cream jug and three cups and saucers on the table. Then she promptly sat down.
‘What’s going on?’
‘Oh, had you not appreciated it, at the wedding? Charlie is now a full member. No more skulking or loitering. And as you so rightly pointed out a while ago, there is nothing she doesn’t do for me, ergo there is nothing she doesn’t know about me.’
‘I see.’
‘What is going on, Prudence, is that at this very moment at least two of those Presidents of the EU who haunt the back corridors of Brussels, are hastily cajoling twenty-seven heads of government. Brexit is off! Our fragrant PM is going to get a temporary stay of execution. You persuaded Rory he was a full-on Brexiteer, he won by six hundred votes. And he will, in all likelihood have to face the electorate again within the year.’
‘What do you want?’
‘Merely that Rory should appreciate what a constituency MP in a representative democracy is. That Brexit, although it has to happen, is ultimately a distraction from his main purpose in life, to win elections.’
‘He’s already thinking of softening his stance to win the floating liberal vote.’
‘Wrong. A Remainer is a Remainer, is a Remainer. He must be seen to stand his ground. Until Brexit happens and is accepted as permanent, the best he can hope for is a majority of two to three thousand. He must declare as soon as possible for Buffy as leader of the once great party.’
‘I loathe that man.’
‘What did he ever do to you?’
‘He grabbed my arse once and asked for a sexual favour.’
‘And what did you do?’
‘Well, I slapped him across the face of course.’
‘A suitable punishment to fit the crime. You’re not a victim, you’re a winner - I’ve told you that many times.’
‘And he tried to upstage my wedding.’
‘That was our next Prime Minster, choosing to attend the wedding of a loyal supporter, who happens to be our MP! Good things will happen. Notice anything different about this place when you arrived?’
‘Yes, half the carpark has been taken over by some construction crew!’
‘Local labour as it happens, here to build the helipad.’
‘What!’
‘Well if you’re going to be regularly hosting the PM, other international statesman, we must be prepared. You’ll be asking me for conference facilities before you know it. And I’ll be under pressure to support the local economy. Not to mention charity work, how many air ambulances is it now? HRH perhaps…’
‘I see some merit in your reasoning.’
‘I’m giving the construction lads free run of the place whilst they’re here, just so the message gets out there that we’re going places.’
‘Alright, you’ve made your point. I suppose they’ll be some ghastly flag pole with an orange sock!’
‘Not a bit of it, there’s a perfectly good flagpole on the roof, and most of the time it’ll be flying Uncle’s coat of arms, that’s if I have anything to do with it.’
‘I said keep us out of politics.’
‘We’re still in the thirty mile an hour zone as it happens. Well I am trying in my own way. In the long term I certainly am. Just trying to take advantage of a rather obvious income stream. Anyway, we have our Easter repose to enjoy now.’
‘And I’m still in uniform.’
‘Well, you could have some fun with that, whilst I inspect the vines.’
‘Goodness! Miss Charlotte er, Sparkwell, you gave me quite a shock, just appearing from nowhere like that.’
‘Gregson.’
‘Your look reminds me of the old days.’
‘But you weren’t here in the old days.’
‘No, but you know what I mean.’
‘So, Mr Gregson, bring me up to speed. Is her ladyship well?’
‘Quite well, she said your stay would be of indeterminate length.’
‘Quite so.’
‘Will you be assisting us with the outside work, perhaps you feel part of the household now?’
‘I shall be returning the woods, I imagine Mr Anthony will confine himself to the walled garden, we shall not impede your commercial activities.’
‘Very well.’
Entering the walled garden I was hit by the sight of a mass of overgrown vines. On closer inspection there seemed to have been some post-harvest winter pruning, but certainly no spring pruning or tying. Clearly, Uncle’s enthusiasm for family history and determination to divert my attention towards the Park development had led him to neglect his responsibilities. I turned on my heels and went back to the house.
‘Hello Gregson.’
‘What news, sir? Are we in or are we out?’
‘Not yet out, is the only answer to that. Still, at least all the law is back inside parliament. Which means you can relax and enjoy things as they are for a few more years.’
‘Yes, but the uncertainty, how will it all end?’
‘In a good old British fudge I should think; more intensive methods to boost basic food stuffs, allowing more set aside to pacify the Greens. But don’t tell my Uncle I said that, he thinks I’m a townie who couldn’t possibly understand.’
‘But what about development, the coast is almost full, they’ll want to creep in land.’
‘Again, I’m not a betting man, but I suspect it will be, let the Greens win on the green belt, relax planning regulations on brown field sites.’
‘I see. Of course in these parts there are lots of old industrial areas that have been abandoned and become sort of green.’
‘That’s just the kind of knowledge we should be keeping to ourselves Gregson. I suppose my helper went off to change her clothes?’
Sometimes the house could feel quite deserted, I wandered until I could follow the sound of voices. I found them all in the big kitchen, waiting to start a late lunch.
‘I’ve been thinking a lot about Transylvania lately.’
My God he’s surpassed himself this time I thought, but with half a second of recovery time I managed. ‘Yes, I haven’t tackled old man Stoker in sometime, correct me if I’m wrong but he never actually made it to the real place did he?’
‘I am talking about the real place you fool!’
‘Er, don’t tell me, your obsession with the woods and the idea of charcoal burners and the lack of knowledge in the UK naturally led you to think of Poland, then you learned just how rapid the modernisation and move off the land has been in the last fifteen years or so, then you read somewhere the only place left to find the European peasant was the Transylvanian Alps and Carpathian mountains of Romania.’
‘How the devil? That’s taken me six months!’
‘Yes, but I don’t know the vital details do I, it’s just the way it had to be. I come out of the walled garden, somewhat annoyed that you’d not done the work on the vines, thinking I suppose he’ll start banging on about charcoal burners again. You mention Transylvania, I join the dots.’
‘Charlotte, how do you live with all this?’
‘I suppose because he can act as well as talk, he’s a smooth operator, he’s taken to roping me into his schemes, just this morning I suspect I’ve unwittingly helped him earn thousands more for the Park in little over an hour without quite understanding how.’
Then Julia intervened. ‘Well you mind how you go. And Reggie, really, why you feel the need to compete with your own nephew is beyond me.’
‘I’ll tell you why, because going up against you youngsters, stops my brain from atrophying and that’s a scientific fact.’
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