‘The countess has arrived, sir. She’s parking the farm truck. I suppose I should have moved my car.’ So said Charlie, lolling by the media room window.
‘Did we promise her lunch?’
‘We didn’t promise anything, but I could include her in our cheese salad.’
‘Fresh from the garden?’
‘First of the season. I’ll show her into the reception room.’
‘I’ll be right with you.’
As I came down the stairs, I came within range of the conversation. ‘Well, I must say! I suppose he thinks he can disorientate all comers, well enough of that!’
Upon entering the reception room, I found Julia sat in my usual seat, with a smug look on her face. ‘Good morning, Julia.’
‘Smashing view, you’ve got here Tony!’
‘Well thank you.’
Forced to observe the icy glaze of the departed Aunt, whilst listening to the present one, I was more than confirmed in my belief that hanging the picture where I had was a good idea. ‘...he still thinks you’re a bounder of the first water.’
‘What?’
‘Oh! Do pay attention. I said that your uncle is still smarting over you departing Checkley, early. Truth is he’s feeling his age, needs all the help he can get.’
‘Well, you must hire more help. Charlotte and I seem to have a life full of commitments these days.’
‘Really? I thought you did as you pleased.’
‘We do. There’s just a lot of it.’ At which point Charlie returned with coffee.
‘I take it you intend giving Lady Julia the full tour, sir?’
‘Oh, absolutely. You will stay for a scratch lunch Julia, we’re due at Jack’s garage early this pm.’
‘Er, thank you Tony.’
‘If you’ll excuse me madam, I’ll see what’s fresh in the veg garden.’
After Charlie had departed, Julia commented; ‘Charlotte’s very formal this morning, you been upsetting her?’
I ignored the jibe; ‘What you need is a friendly housekeeper, so you and uncle can spend more time outside.’
‘What we need is someone like Charlotte, who can just shimmer in, then shimmer out again.’
‘I noticed you’re using the truck today.’
‘Yes, your uncle has gone to town, more work for his lawyers. I know I shouldn’t say this, but I don’t want you making any silly arse, gorping remarks when he finally tells you. And, no disrespect to darling Charlotte, but strictly between ourselves, my beloved has done the decent thing and left all his worldly goods to me. So, in the fullness of time. And it might be a long time, given our closeness in age.’
‘Of course, understood.’
‘Still, I suppose if I lose my marbles, you could become in charge at the manor, de facto. I don’t want old age to be a pain. What would you do with the estate?’
‘Step on the accelerator, pump in a couple of million, turbocharge Uncle’s existing organic schemes.’
‘Much as you have with the magazine. We’re no longer losing money by the way. Lots of online attention and advertising revenue is well up. However, it’s not escaped my notice, how the website links to all the other of your Trust’s activities. We carry adverts for the Park, for your garden centre. You’ve even got County Estates taking a regular spread.’
‘Sound business practice, one doesn’t know where future growth will come from, but then if everything links, you don’t have to.’
‘Yes, I suppose so. Well now, you going to show me around then?’
‘Office!’ Commanded Jack on our arrival.
‘Office?’
‘Today’s main challenge is to get your new motor correctly written-up on the manufacturer’s computer. Take a seat. Fiona love, couple of mugs of goop for our guests. Right then, here goes, the thing is, because the vehicle has spent the best part of a year in their pound - hence me getting it at last year’s price - it has to go back into the factory for a thorough going over and we have to see if any of your personalisation isn’t best done there. So let me read back what you’ve actually ordered so far.’
And after what seemed an age, of back-and-forth questions, of computer box-ticking, he said; ‘Okay?’
‘Okay.’
‘Now, how’s this all going to play out? Assuming it arrives within about ten days.’
‘Right, well, we inspect it, pay-up and take it away to run-in, leaving the old one behind for servicing along with the various bits of computer kit I have acquired for it’s upgrading. All done on the assumption that most of the time it will be garaged at home, only making half a dozen trips a year for Charlie’s fishing expeditions and visits up-country to her parents. Meanwhile, whilst we’re trying out the new car, I have to work out how and where the extra computer is fitted, then we come in for the second exchange.’
‘You’ll need to brief my lads yourself Tony, most of it will be over my head.’
‘The additional computer probably goes under the rear bench; the main innovation, will be four, in-cab cameras...’
‘Oh, my god!’ Opined Charlie.
‘So, rather than monitor just individual behaviour, one can make a start on social interaction.’
‘Somebody told me your American friends had changed their name recently.’
‘It was a buy-out, the Trust took ten per cent of the stock in the new company, hence a regular income stream. But the UK licencing of facial recognition security applications stays the same. Nice little earner too, twelve police forces and three security agencies so far.’
‘I told you to stick with him love!’ He said, as an aside to Charlie.
‘Okay, okay.’ I said; ‘Can we now get to the real, main event? We’re itching to see the minibus.’
‘Now don’t be alarmed by it’s appearance, fact is, change of plan with the paint job.’ So said Jack as he led the way to the back of the workshop.
‘Ah! Yes. I see what you mean.’
‘I’ve got my two apprentices taking it all off, back to the metalwork. I took an executive decision when I saw the interior Birmingham were offering.’ Jack proceeded to show us inside. ‘The seats with that new upholstery, have been imported to go with the colour of these, now steam cleaned walls.’
‘Which suggests a sort of green and vanilla exterior?’
‘But not just any green, the green of the Park website, the green of The Countrywoman magazine.’
‘Brunswick Green, formally of the real GWR and early British Railways.’ So said Charlie.
‘Precisely Watson. Well done, Jack, your instincts are as sound as always.’
‘And just in case you were wondering.’ He then proceeded to show us the engine, which as far as I could tell looked brand spanking new.
Back in the office once more. ‘I don’t mean to pry, or anything, but it’s not like you to let your lads join a government scheme, having college lecturers forever snooping around.’
‘The only time my boys see the inside of that college is when they sit the exams. We pay our own way.’
‘But...’
‘We get away with it, Tony my old son, because my main man has more letters after his name, than any of those jokers at the college!’
‘Ah! Right. Well, when the bus is photograph-able, prepare a proper brochure with a real price. I’ll present it to the Park management committee, then, assuming it will be a substantial sum, get it signed off by Uncle, my Aunt Julia and myself as shareholders. But give me a realistic price as soon as possible so I can prepare the ground. Just one other thing, to make it work you need to provide and supply back-up fuel to go in it’s garage in the old stable block at the Park. So, any other business?’
‘Your architects think we should start re-configuring the filling station from the far end of the site, bit by bit, as and when, this electric thing takes off, or doesn’t.’
‘So, you build a new shop, stroke cafe, stroke pay point, stroke loos, to replace the coffee machine and yesterday’s sandwiches.’
‘Ever mindful that it’s not your general public who keep us in profit and whose habits we need to be responding to.’
‘How do you mean?’ Asked Charlie.
‘Perhaps you’ve not been at Jack’s filling station during unsocial hours?’
‘We make our money, Charlotte my dear, mostly at night, by refuelling public service vehicles, the emergency services and delivery lorries. Location, location, location.’
As we were settling back in the car, Charlie was catching-up on her mobile device. ‘A text from your trusted lieutenant, sir.’
‘Oh, yes?’
‘Wants to know if you have a date for the dinner dance?’
‘I don’t know yet, however, the inaugural nineteen forties dinner dance with swing band, should be marketed as our contribution to the Jubilee celebrations.’
‘Did you know Archie Layton was at university with the second in line to the throne?’
‘Of course, never shuts up about it. Always recalling how he first collided with them at old time Scottish dancing lessons... Charlie, you’ve done it again.’
‘What?’
‘Out of the mouths of babes and what’s it’s!’
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