‘It never seems right, seeing the river so full of pleasure craft.’
‘Daphne! Yes indeed, never more stylish than when the Navy dominated.’
‘I think one of my ancestors was invited to review the college, before World War One.’ Chipped in Barmy.
‘Ah, one forgets, it wasn’t until the first decade of the twentieth century, that the British press started painting Germany as the enemy.’
We were all on the ferry crossing the river, to the one railway station in Britain that never had any tracks.
‘So, you see Mel, what is now a cafe, once had a booking office where you could buy a ticket to anywhere in the country.’
‘I’ve brought your book back.’
‘Excellent. I anticipated such an outcome and have brought along a new volume.’
‘More adventures?’
‘Of a slightly different kind. A book about Sherlock Holmes, written by a female PhD in psychology. Here, let’s do a swap right now, whilst we’re out of sight.’
‘God! Isn’t it going to be a bit advanced?’
‘I doubt it. I don’t know what the adults say about teenage frustrations these days, in my day everything was blamed on puberty, anyway don’t listen to any of it, your frustrations are about having an underused brain.’
‘You are terribly politically incorrect Tony.’
‘Oh, thank you very much.’
‘Mummy has taken charge of the packed lunches, could do with a drink right now. I bet they’ll snag all the wine for themselves.’
‘Ah, now, there’s a point. I should tell you on the quiet. Your father has never had a good head for alcohol, perhaps your mother is concerned you might have inherited it, apart from the fact that the female frame is smaller and therefore glass for glass, more susceptible to intoxication. Of course, she could also be worried about the prospect of man overboard. Anyway, how did you find the Adventures?’
‘Great. The opening story made me think of Daddy’s alleged grand connections, they came from Bohemia, born on the wrong side of some royal bed. Not the Grubers, obviously, his mother’s side.’
‘Hereditary bastards of Bohemia, sounds like a good title for a book, well, well, not the kind of ancestors to shout about.’
‘Is it true Grandpa used to be a spook?’
‘Snooper, not spook, well that’s the rumour, never actually had it confirmed. It is your mother’s father we’re talking about?’
‘Yes, he always says he was a civil servant. So, what’s a snooper then?’
‘Ah, well. First there were codebreakers, reaching back into the mists of time. Then add in military signals intelligence, Morse code and all that. Then whole networks of electric telegraphs, telephones, radio and finally the internet, all to be snooped upon.
‘Grandpa’s never been much of a one for tinkering.’
‘No, he, allegedly, got involved with how to interpret the product. Thing is, in recent times the US and UK have had the capacity to eavesdrop on all electronic communications from around the globe. So much data, that you have to come up with a system for the computers to filter it all for you. Then, how do humans set about interpreting what might or might not, be a threat...’ We were interrupted by a shout from over yonder.
‘I say! Are you two coming?’ It was Tuffy, gesturing from the riverboat. Everyone else it seemed was already on board.
‘Tuffy seems excited about his day out.’
‘Too excited. He’s taken to carrying his father’s hipflask.’ So said the Lady Vic.
‘Thank goodness it’s a small one, he hasn’t got his grandfather’s snuff box on him?’
‘Oh, I’ve not heard about that.’
‘Tried it at school once, but only the once.’
‘The thing is, he indicated he’s not too clever on boats, you’re not in a position to elaborate I suppose?’
‘I can’t ever remember being on boat with Tuffy.’
We made steady, one might say sedate, progress up the estuary, nonetheless a bit of a cross wind did give us a slight roll, along with the wakes of passing craft. Cat was getting into his stride as a tour guide. After a lengthy discourse on the naval college, taking us well passed the actual location itself, he barely had time to catch his breath before starting his preamble to our view of Greenway. Given Christie lived a long time, and indeed grew-up just down the road, there was a certain logic to giving a potted biography before the river narrowed and we came alongside the place she spent her declining years.
‘Looks like some sort of river crossing here.’ Said Walpole.
‘Oh, indeed. In modern times there always seems to have been a local boatman willing to ferry people across. But the village on the west bank has at least a thousand-year history, part of the church was started in Norman times, the tides are quite strong but at low tides it’s the last point on river that’s fordable, that’s why the village existed, why there was a road on which to build Greenway.’
‘One would never think it.’
‘Fords are often built-up and straightened artificially with river gravels, have to be maintained of course, remarkable how deep you can take a coach and four...’
Then suddenly he interrupted me; ‘I say, that Tufnell fellow is looking rather green about the gills.’
‘Serve him right for drinking too much.’
‘You know I once had cause to view the body of a man who died from poisoning, he had just that kind of distorted face.’
Sure enough, a moment or two later there was the sound of retching, and the sight of Tuffy bent over the side. ‘I’ll see what I can do,’ said Charlotte.
‘No Charlie, let him be, he’s Vic’s responsibility now.’
‘Really?’
‘Oh, yes. Discretion being the better part of valour and all that.’
‘Very good, sir.’
After what seemed like hours, there was a palpable feeling of relief all round when we finally made landfall.
Cat marshalled us on the quayside; ‘Let’s stick together till the river bridge, then I can show you where we’ll be picked-up.’
‘The railway sidings used to run as far as here.’ I said, falling in with Walpole again; ‘Shame the preservationists of the other line going towards the Moor, never thought of including it.’
‘That would have meant permissions, in and out of the BR station in two directions, unthinkable at the time.’
‘Alas.’
‘Alack.’
‘Now then,’ said Cat pausing to address us all. ‘The bus will be on the hotel side of the road, access to the castle is via the main street, follow me group.’ And with that he promptly turned away, with our erstwhile neighbour taking his arm. Charlie and I followed behind. I’d previously decided there was no getting out of it.
A minute or two later my loyal confederate whispered in my ear; ‘Don’t look round but we’re not being followed!’
I waited until we were passing under the famous archway before looking back down the hill. With the exception of Mrs Walpole looking in a gift shop window, there was no sign of anybody.
Sparkwell and I sat side by side on the park bench outside the entrance to the castle. Having consumed our cans of red wine with the beef sandwiches whilst on the boat, we now rewarded ourselves with the cheese sarnies and water!
‘You do realise we have less sex than we used to.’
‘Really? I hadn’t noticed.’
‘Well neither had I. It only came to me by accident.’
‘It doesn’t bother you?’
‘No. Well, not until I started wondering about whether it should. It’s kind of unfamiliar territory to me, being with someone for so long. I mean, I’d heard from others that things drop off.’
‘An unfortunate turn of phrase. Fact is, this is all rather unfamiliar to me too.’
We were prevented from further discussion by Cat and his companion emerging from the castle. She was saying; ‘So, the proper beacon hills to the west and east are both higher but out of sight, because we are lower than the surrounding hills, despite being at the high point in the valley. Is that what you are saying?’
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