72: Charlie takes leave

‘You’ll be okay, if I leave you for a week?’

‘Of course.’

‘No hatching of plots.’

‘Cross my heart...’

‘That’s alright then.’

‘Tea’s ready Kenneth.’

We sat at the kitchen table. ‘This is very good of you. I was quite prepared to fix my own refreshment.’

‘Least I could do.’

‘Since we’re alone, I thought I might approach the subject of fruits.’

‘Yes?’

‘Well, I was wondering what you might require?’

‘I, don’t require anything. But if you and Charlie are willing to go to the time and trouble, I’m more than happy to tell you what would get my approval and hence what I’d be prepared to pay for.’

‘I see. Charlotte has confided how involved you’ve been with your uncle’s place over the years, she says I shouldn’t be taken in by your stand-offish-ness. You do care rather a lot about the garden. And your concern betrays knowledge.’

‘I trust history Kenneth, this is a smallish Victorian suburban garden, if you think there is room for a plumb, and or apple, and or cherry tree, I’ll go with that. Also, traditional raspberry canes and gooseberry bushes - well, so much the better. As for strawberries and tomatoes, that really would mean all three of us mucking in at certain times of the year.’

‘All sensible choices, but a little unambitious perhaps?’

‘You started this conversation by saying “since we’re alone.” Is there something you couldn’t discuss in front of Charlie?’

‘Oh, no. It was just that, she warned me off, refused to brief you herself.’

‘She does know me quite well!’

‘You do have a south facing wall, sir.’

‘Oh, no! No way. I’ll not see you waste your declining years. Better to live without the worry, the obsession. You’ll be far more productive on general upkeep. And after all man, what do you get at the end of the day, a couple of shrivelled apricots, blotchy nectarines and probably a single peach.’

‘The wall does show evidence of previous ties.’

‘And since when was that evidence of success? Expunge the idea from your mind, I’ll forget you ever mentioned it.’

‘Your aunt once said much the same thing. There is one other, small matter, quite unrelated.’

‘Go on.’

‘The Book Club has settled on the reading list for the next six months, Charlie said I should mention my choice for Boxing Day, on account of her having seen a copy in your library.’

‘Oh, yes.’

‘Buchan, The Thirty-nine Steps.’

‘Good lord! Although I don’t know why I should say that, just because it has become unfashionable.’

‘Exactly.’

‘You think the redoubtable ladies will appreciate it?’

‘I intend to mount a sterling defence of it. I thought you might care to join in, rather than just hover in the background. Charlie says you have one of those minds that absorb everything. I’m sure you’d be marvellous with examples, especially since age tends to wear so badly on the memory, for that which one read only yesterday, so to speak.’

‘I’ll be prepared to repel boarders then.’

‘Excellent. Anyway, I mustn’t waste anymore of the dry weather.’

‘I say, I’ve got a scheme old man, thought you might care to come in on it.’

‘Can’t be done I’m afraid, I’m under strict orders not to get involved in anything whilst Sparkwell’s gone fishing. She thinks, she’s the one who keeps me out of trouble.’

‘Whilst, in fact you have been drawing her into your schemes for ages.’

‘Oh, dear. Are people really beginning to notice Cat?’

‘Well, only those who’ve known you the longest, like your uncle and myself. Actually, it’s more of an idea for the club rather than anything covert. Just thought I’d consult a little before mentioning it publically and all that.’

‘You’re beginning to intrigue.’

‘As well as the Christmas lunch, we need to start another tradition, another event, say a couple of months or so earlier, start offering members a proper schedule, our own high days and holidays.’

‘Go on.’

‘An annual Work’s Outing, but in the autumn when the tourists have gone and we can get a good party rate.’

‘And your suggestion for this first event?’

‘Get the steam railway’s old charabanc to pick us up from the club, take us to their Bay station, then onward to the old historic navy port, finally a boat trip up the river to the castle on the hill.’

‘Could turn out to be a day of soggy sandwiches.’

‘But that’s just my point, our own reserved carriage on the train, just like returning to school in the old days!’

‘Yes, I don’t mean to put a damper on it, but anyone whose been around these parts for any length of time, has all ready done that itinerary.’

‘Not as group. Taking a day-off, or do I mean a day-out. Members only and spouses as guests. Or in your case, the two of you could invite another couple, so could Barmy and Daphne too, come to think of it.’

‘You’d need people who’d realise what it was, work’s outing or school trip, varsity club.’

‘Absolutely. Have to get the recruitment literature right.’

‘And of course, a packed lunch included.’

‘Now you’re getting into the spirit of it!’

‘Er, tell me Cat, just asking out of idle curiosity, who would you invite to join you on such a misery tour?’

‘Well, as yet to be determined. But recently I’ve been making friends with the lady at number forty-two.’

‘She’s the answer to life, the universe and everything is she?’

‘Ah, yes, very funny. You know to whom I am referring?’

‘Oh, yes. Always seemed a friendly sort to me.’

‘A widow, she and her husband both worked for one of the banks that have now deserted the high street. Comfortable pension. She has this cruise bug, like so many, well, any organised tour to places of historic interest, if it comes to that.’

‘You should suggest an exclusive tour of your parent’s place.’

‘Well, I’m sort of working up to that, if our day out goes without a hitch.’

‘I can just see you motoring off, if you take on that Triumph sports of Jack’s.’

‘The open road only exists for a few hours a day, at particular times of the year, even going strictly cross-country from here.’

‘Strictly, now there’s a word. An annual dinner dance, with a band.’

‘What?’

‘That’s another possibility, now the ballroom is back in commission.’

‘Oh, right. You mean a nineteen forties dance, stroke swing band?’

‘Absolutely.’ There followed one of those pauses for quiet reflection. ‘You know, I’m beginning to warm to this project of yours. Charlotte and I could invite Mr and Mrs Walpole along.’

‘And who are they?’

‘Well, he is a recently retired defence barrister, with an equivocal reputation.’

‘Oh, yes?’

‘A bit of a thorn in the side of Charlie’s father.’

‘How often have you met this chap?’

‘Only the once, I was introduced by the Don. He having cut his teeth on some of Walpole’s more notorious cases.’

‘Not like you to instantly take to someone.’

‘Well, I suppose I do have an ulterior motive.’

‘Oh, yes?’

‘Charlie made a spontaneous remark which made me wonder whether it wouldn’t be a good idea to get on the right side of old Walpole. A gut response that one would do well to pay attention to. She said you and I should watch out, that Walpole would see through the machinations of you and I, in an instant!’