23: Sparkwell and the all-seeing eye

Upon her return Charlie texted asking for a pick-up at the railway station, I duly obliged. The down platform was busy, instinct told me to hang back in the booking hall.

‘Good evening, sir. I trust all is well?’

‘Yes, yes indeed.’

‘Shall I resume my driving responsibilities?’

‘As you wish Sparkwell, as you wish.’


As she stepped over the threshold of the apartment she paused, silhouetted in the hallway, motionless. She seemed to sniff the air. After a couple of seconds of silence I said; ‘Welcome home.’

‘Yes.’ Another pause, then; ‘It’s a bit mucky, I’ll get on.’

So once more I let her take charge, closed the front door and in doing so our world seemed restored.


It wasn’t long after Charlotte’s return that, on entering the Games Room at the Park, we were confronted by the sight of Barmy Gruber - usually to be seen lecturing or sat at a desk writing code - actually doing physical work. He was half underneath the flight simulator and even had his tool kit in from the car. ‘My dear fellow, are you unwell?’

‘Possibly, this is against my better judgement you understand. Sure I have done such projects in the past, but I’m not the most skilled, this is a botch, I think.’

‘I’d rather have you fix it than any of the others!’

‘This is true, but it will fail again, rough handling from the English.’

‘More than likely.’

‘Why are you here, we see much more of Charlie than of you?’

‘I’ve agreed to be thrashed at the pool table - I need the practice.’

‘You deserve it.’ Turning his head slightly he addressed my paramour; ‘You know Charlie, that as soon as our backs are turned, our man here is lunching my wife?’

‘I was not aware of that, sir.’

‘Yes indeed, but to use Daphne’s words “twice he gets his comeuppance”.'

‘Sir?’

‘Twice members interrupted to enquire where you were, you have made yourself indispensable ja, ja?’

‘Thankyou sir, regarding your wife, I suspect my employer’s motives were more gastronomic than carnal.’

‘Yes, this too is my wife’s conclusion.’

‘What is it with you two?’ I interjected. ‘Charlotte you’ve clearly been eating the fish you’ve been catching - you sound more like your fictional mentor than ever. And as for you Gruber, you seem to be reverting, you stopped constructing your English sentences back to front within a term of arriving at school!’

‘Always the way with a Games Room old man,’ said Cat entering stage left. ‘People get competitive, up their game. I guess we could do with a permanent referee. Care to take the job on Charlie?’

‘I’m afraid, I have my hands rather full at the moment.’

‘Well, speaking on behalf of the management’, I asserted, ‘some sort of remote surveillance might well be in order, some kind of crude version of the old Hawkeye plus half a dozen cameras. What do you think Barmy?’

‘The crowd loved it at the cricket this summer, when the third umpire went to level four - or whatever it is - and reversed its own decision! As for Premier League VAR, well time will tell.’

‘I meant the technical feasibility.’

‘Well, with the Darts there would be no point, I understand we’re already on a promise for a reconditioned championship sized automatic scorer. With the Pool, as you should know, the laws of physics make it all a waste of time when there are more than three balls on the table, the flight simulator is a closed system with only one fair-weather daylight runway. As for VR, there are no rules about space, just sensors in the jackets. It comes down to written rules and when are they are ambiguous. That only leaves cheating through deception - misdirection and sleight of hand. Which is your area of expertise, is it not?’

‘Oh, I agree’ said Cat.

‘Undeniable.’ Sparkwell chipped in; ‘Eye movements, tone of voice, emotional facial recognition - he has them all in the two cameras in our car as we speak. I’m expecting him to trade-in the two-seater any day now, for the biggest people-carrier he can find…’

‘Enough! So, it’s sides now is it? I knew this would happen as soon as Uncle and I took control. Well let me remind you all, I’m the one watching your backs! The secretary would be well within his rights if he chose to put an end to all this. And may I also remind the assembled company, the occasional cash tip is ok, so too a modest cash bet between two opposing participants - but anything more will force my hand as well as that of the secretary. Also Charlie, you may not be aware, but some members are a lot less well off than others, come to one of the three of us if you think someone is spending more than they can afford.’

‘Er, Tony, before Charlie humiliates you at the pool table could we have a quick word in private, won’t take a minute.’


Cat and I found a deserted corridor. ‘Talking of watching people’s backs, I’m feeling a bit exposed myself right now.’

‘Go on.’

‘It’s Tuffy, he’s still banging on to anyone who’ll listen, about how convenient it was that the pond should drain when it did, and if it was timely, how could anyone contrive such a situation.’

‘How much does he actually know?’

‘Well that’s the thing, I can’t work out how he could know anything! As far as I can tell he must just suspect he was excluded from something and is fishing to find out more.’

‘Does he realise the events he thinks he missed out on went down when he was in hospital?’

‘I don’t know, anyway it’s always possible he’ll find out something, feel aggrieved and in his ignorance, drop us all in it.’

‘Right, well it’s my responsibility to sort this, and I will as soon as possible, one idea occurs immediately, but it will need to be thought through, what we really want is for Tuffy to remain in the dark and forget the whole thing, right?’

‘Absolutely, he’d never be able to keep it to himself. He was never going to be any use anyway, even if he had been fit.’

‘So, getting him to just drop it and turn his mind to something else is probably the answer. Right, I’ll let you know when it’s done, otherwise keep you out of it.’

‘Thanks old man. You know I don’t think Charlie has quite twigged how you do it yet, I see it in her face, she follows most of the way, then puzzlement.’

‘No doubt you’ll nudge her towards enlightenment.’

‘Naturally, after all one has a moral obligation to keep her safe, what!’


Sparkwell had the table set up. ‘This is meant to be a club, right?’

‘Yes.’

‘But, clubs are meant to be owned and run by their members.’

‘They are, otherwise, they’re not a club. And that’s different from an association, or a business, and any one may in certain circumstances be granted the status of a charity. No, I don’t understand it either, even Bernard Merriweather has to consult somebody else on that one.’

‘But you’re saying, you as an owner can look out for the interests of members?’

‘Yes. The club, of which I am an ordinary member, elects its own committee members and officials, charges fees etc. But it doesn’t own anything other than itself, so to speak; it rents part of the house from the Park company. The current Sec. just happens to also be the general manager of the Park. But that’s strictly his day job, he’s an employee of the company only, has no shares, gets no bonuses related to the performance of the company etc. Now that’s just about as far as my understanding goes. I’m sure your new boss Brinkley would be only too glad to confuse the issue even more.’

‘So, why are you always so concerned about here?’

‘It’s only a Games Room because certain members have decided it is, unofficially. In reality it is the hallway of the house, in other words the main entrance and exit, for the club and the company, in fact both the front door and the back door, and which is which, depends upon the use to which it is being put, at any one time.’

‘Well shouldn’t someone, lay down the law about it?’

‘Absolutely not, it’s the ambiguity that grants freedom, like so many things in life, one day someone will have an accident and you won’t be able to patch them up, but the liability will be, who knows what? I mean members will rally round, do the right thing of course, but nonetheless.’

In time we got on with the game, I restrained myself for several frames (do I mean that, or is that just snooker?) Anyway, I waited till she was well ‘in the zone’, in a state of ‘flow’ as it were, making sure I was always behind her, as close as possible without being tempted to initiate something more intimate - keeping my mind on the job, as it were. ‘Perhaps I should have mentioned, just didn’t seem that important, the couple of enquires about your whereabouts, one was just Cat on behalf of someone who’d pulled a muscle; the other seemed a bit more, involved…’ I paused.

‘Oh, yes.’

‘Tuffy, somewhat agitated, wanted one of his, now what did he call it “special treatments”?’

She continued to clear the table, seemingly unmoved. ‘Well. It’s just getting him to relax, let go really, like that time at the flat.’ The crack of another ball going down. ‘Sort of, self-hypnosis really, not sure what I do to help, he just needs to get his worries out I suppose.’

‘Well, that’s good, I think you should let him talk as much as he wants, then, as you say, let go.’