‘Attic bedroom, front. Shout, if you need help.’ Said Mrs Tufnell.
Moving around Tuffy’s house I always feel a bit guilty. Knowing so much about the people in a place not one’s own, all none of my business really. Thankfully, the watercolours were back in their rightful place.
The storage space was neat, systematic. Now then, left fairly close at hand I imagine, placed more in hope than expectation, sentiment. Ah! The same old box, as luck would have it. And upon opening, sitting on the top, the opera hat! Hay ho.
Once downstairs again I started to fiddle with the tricks. ‘You’re looking very smart today Tony. But then you always do. We must remember, it will be their day.’
‘At the last wedding I attended, the bride accused me of being better dressed than she was.’
‘That’s what I meant.’
‘So, let me know what the happy couple intend to wear and Charlotte and I will endeavour to dress down. You know my tailor has taken quite a shine to her, he’s determined she should be my equal on all social occasions.’
‘I should think so!’
‘Oh, absolutely.’
‘Those tricks will need practice.’
‘Yes, I appreciate that, it’ll need to be every day, over and over.’
‘I’ve slowed down a lot over the last year, what with Victoria insisting on taking care of things.’
‘I can imagine. Right, then I’ll mark you down for twice around the harbour and a march along the Prom in the bracing sea air, each day they’re away.’
‘Goodness!’
‘Before lunch somewhere nice, of course. And fear not, I’ll have my chauffeur follow behind, ready to whisk you away should the occasion demand.’
‘How’s your Aunt Julia?’
‘Okay, as far as I can tell. We’ll be off for our summer visit soon, once Tuffy and Victoria are back, repenting at leisure.’
‘Wicked boy. And you can hardly accuse them of marrying in haste!’
‘True enough.’ Then I was pinged. ‘My carriage awaits. So, text me, constant communication, will see us through.’
‘Don’t laugh. In fact, stop watching. This is all meant to come as a surprise. It won’t work unless all those present, react spontaneously. Mistakes are part of the misdirection; they have to be practiced even more. The audience don’t want perfection, but they will be willing me to succeed, so it all has to come together at the end.’
In the end, we concluded that dressing down wouldn’t work. It would only make us look disrespectful of the occasion, and anyway I’d seen Tuffy look scruffy, even in the best attire. Conversely, the Lady Vic, what with her ballet background, always looked elegant and graceful whatever she was wearing. We decided the answer was to enhance the others, so arranged to turn-up with extra buttonholes and straw boaters for all.
Registry offices always look so depressing, don’t you think? Even ours, which is part of an old country house, still has the air of a government office. I whispered to my companion; ‘I don’t think I was ever told, where did you and the late great get married?’
‘I was just thinking of that, it was such a joyous, sunny day, the Abbey looked resplendent.’
‘What! Not the Abbey?’
‘Stupid boy! No, the abbey church at Abbey Ducis.’
‘Oh right, just down the road from Jocelyn St. Mary you mean?’
‘That’s the one.’
Matters continued with a dull inevitability. Repeating the same script, day in day out, must make it difficult for any registrar to put any life enhancing positivity into their performance. I couldn’t help mumbling aloud a certain ditty; “The groom is nervous, he answers twice; It’s really killin’, that he’s so willin’...’
‘Behave, Anthony.’
“Think what a year can bring, yes; He’s washin’ dishes and baby clothes; He’s so ambitious he even sows” ...’
‘I suppose I can’t really admonish you, my husband used to sing it to himself all the time.’
‘Gosh, so that’s where I get my love of jazz age musicals.’
‘My son alas, hath no music in him.’
‘Is that grounds for objection, can I stop the wedding?’
After we’d bourn witness and passed the next couple on their way in, Charlie produced some confetti from I know not where? We took turns taking pictures and I made a mental note not to give up entirely on my own chances of hearing the wedding bells ring out.
‘And now, ladies and gentlemen, prepare to be amazed...’ And believe it or not, for ten minutes, they were. They wanted to be; they were in the mood for silliness. Life in the Tufnell household always did have a quite gentleness to it. It was life outside that caused Tuffy agitation. I asked Charlie; ‘So, do you think you’ve finally got him of your hands?’
‘Me! I’m not the one trying to get rid of him, you palmed him off onto Victoria.’
‘You know what I mean!’
‘Actually, he just apologised and said he would not be able to come to me for any more treatments in the future, paid me off with a big tip in fact.’ Then she stuck out her tongue.
‘Be sure to pay it into the bank.’ I sort out the bride; ‘So, where is Tuffy whisking you away to?’
‘He won’t say, it’s a bit worrying really.’
‘You’d better prepare to be delighted then.’
We were still none the wiser when a taxi arrived to deliver the happy couple to the railway station. Tuffy’s parting words stayed with me; ‘Thanks old man. You will take care of mother; she’s really quite highly strung you know.’
One day, when we were walking the Prom, I placed a tentative foot in the water, so to speak. ‘Did my father know your Mr Tufnell well?’
‘Not hugely, it was only a couple of years between you boys meeting at school and your parent’s accident.’
‘Right. I’ve inherited much of my father’s stuff, via my aunt, been trying to make sense of the documents. I noticed Mr Tufnell in father’s big, business address book the other day, various numbers, etc.’
‘I never really talked business with my husband, just listened to him sounding-off when frustrated about something.’
‘Did he have any connection to the old bank, three doors down from the new bank in our great cathedral city?’
‘Not that I’m aware of.’
‘When the new bank created itself, the building of the old remained in the family and became part of the Trust.’
‘What exactly is the problem?’
‘Well, father’s papers should close a gap in the Trust archive, show how the nineteen fifties becomes the nineteen eighties, but, as of now they don’t quite meet.’
‘Your fishing, but I’m elderly, I need something specific to trigger the old memory!’
‘You were my last hope.’
‘Well, it’s no good asking me, if you don’t know what you are looking for! If you see what I mean?
‘Yes, I think I do. I’ll just have to physically visit all the spaces the Trust owns and see if any of that resonates.’
‘But surely most of it is rented or leased to somebody, can you get access without resorting to breaking and entering?’
‘Oh, now that’s an idea. Come to think of it, one could try robbing a bank.’
We’d arrived at a cafe. I left Mrs Tufnell to sit and admire the view, whilst I ordered. Upon returning, she said; ‘Always an intrigue with you Tony. First you lost trust in everybody but yourself. That meant you became a watcher, always observing before taking any action. Then the secret plotting, for fear that some nameless dread might descend upon you.’
‘Charlotte calls it my “scheming”.’
‘And always in pursuit of a woman, whether you’re actually involved or not.’
‘Ah, well, that’s just natural.’
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