28: Bespoke Charlie

‘That was a bit weird.’

‘Wasn’t it just.’

‘I read The Cinder Yard by Maria Chapelle years ago, wartime bonking amongst the working classes. I wonder who’s choice it was? I could feel the chorus of disapproval from the kitchen.’

‘Perhaps they thought, elderly local writer, can’t go wrong with her!’

‘Back to the apartment?’

‘Home Charlie and don’t spare the horses. Oh, a notification. Good lord. You know you were going on about getting my clothes altered the other day.’

‘Yes.’

‘Well, I messaged Edoardo straightaway because he’s really quite successful in his own way, just has a few clients now and doesn’t have to work, so one really needs to book in advance and just wait. Well, he’s replying from Gstaad would you believe, says they’ve been lent a chalet by a grateful client. Well! He won’t get that kind of a freebie from me - I know too much about his past. He’s given me a date in ten days.'

When it finally came time, we trudged through the winter rain. ‘Where are we going?’

‘It’s a bit of a hike I know, but since he downsized from London, he doesn’t need expensive frontage, just workshop space.’

‘So is it just him or does he employ people?’

‘Well, I think these days it’s only him dealing with the customers, negotiating, measuring, doing bits of added design work, buying cloth, and I think he does all the cutting too. So, depending on demand, he just has a couple of seamstresses who get hired on an ad-hoc basis. He calls them his ‘girls’, but of course you never get to see them, I suspect they’re as ancient as he is.’

‘So he’s Italian right? The family trade?’

‘Well, yes and no. It’s many generations since any of the family were born in Italy and he was the first to take up tailoring, I think originally they were one of the Glasgow ice cream families, but I may be wrong about that. But he will lay on the Italian thing for customers if he thinks it’s to his advantage. Don’t get me wrong, he’s top class at his work, but a Londoner born and bred. “Edoardo” is an affectation I join in with when it suits me. Here we are. I rather suspect that Gstaad, is the closest he’s ever been to Italy!’

‘Mr Benedetti, good morning to you.’

‘And the same to you sir, come along in.’

‘This is my new PA, Ms Sparkwell, she’s brought along the items in question, also there is what I’m wearing!’

‘So I can see, a most remarkable transformation, let’s make a start right away then, we can talk as we go, this will have to be an ongoing project throughout the spring, there will be more items I assume in the fullness of time Ms Sparkwell, or may I call you Charlie?’

‘Er, yes. Well, his whole wardrobe really.’

‘Okay, well I’ll commit to anything we’ve made for you, you will be charged just for the labour, however many hours it takes the girls. But it is going to be about a ten-day turnaround on each outfit, it’s going to add up to a lot Tony.’

‘I realise that, and I appreciate the time and trouble, I - perhaps I should say we - may also have a new commission for you today. Just what have you heard about us Eddie?’

‘Discretion Tony, I’d be out of business if ever…’

‘I’m not asking you to reveal your sources, just what do you understand of our, relationship?’

‘ “Miss Charlotte” was the form of address if I recall, a sort of personal trainer come personal assistant who seems increasingly to behave like a gentleman’s valet from movies of the nineteen thirties.’

‘That is our public persona, and it works. Charlie can do the work of three and blend into the background at the same time, we’re looking for the look Eddie, a woman in men’s clothing, but still very much a woman, a classic look, but someone who doesn’t look out of place shimmering across the hallway of a great house or grand hotel lobby today.’

‘Okay, this is expensive, two outfits, it will cost as much as two new suits for you.’

‘Explain.’

‘First the feminine. It’s nothing to do with the clothes, it’s in the walk and therefore the shoes, two pairs, heels but no more than say inch and a half, bit of a lift, but okay for suddenly picking up luggage etc. Right? You must go to your London shoemaker, take advice, nothing to do with me, also hair always as you have it now, showing the back of neck, it’s a draw, so you in charge. Most of this you have already, I know, I see it when you arrive. Clothes is the difficult bit. Okay, changing room, next outfit.’

Three minutes later. ‘What you have to understand is that the cloth has to be inferior to yours Tony, not what we have here; tough and hard wearing for sure, but the servant mustn’t out shine you, besides, what can the servant - albeit a very good one - afford? He, in this case she, has to have clothes that fit well because they are working clothes, like the craftsman of old in the workshop wearing tie, waistcoat, jacket on the side etc. I think I have to bring in Sally, she can be our buyer, then I will commit to altering whatever she can find.’

‘Who the hell is Sally?’ I called from behind the curtain as I changed again.

‘She was an assistant to a costume designer in the movies for years.’ Edoardo was pinning his notes to the items he’d already marked as I emerged for yet more frisking and fondling. ‘I set-up a meeting between Charlie and her, girls-only thing, then we wait, ask no questions about where the clothes actually come from, I pay Sally’s price no questions asked. Repair, alteration, cleaning we do here, all at the same time.’

‘How long does all this take?’

‘Who can say, but good project, I like the idea.’

‘How about I say that as soon as you get clothes for Charlie, you suspend work on my alterations, that would speed things up?’

‘Good, good. But separate, separate new account for Charlotte please, different payment right.’

‘Okay, let’s say I prime my account with 10k, and another 20k for this new arrangement?’

‘You’re a gentleman, sir.’

‘Mouth closed Charlie, breathing gently through the nose. How was Gstaad, Eddie?’

‘Lovely accommodation, lovely long walks, couldn’t afford to buy anything or eat out of course, but who cares, the best things in life are free.’

‘Have you gone completely nuts!’ It had stopped raining now. We were wandering back to the car.

‘I don’t think so. What do I always say about staying rich?’

‘But how the hell do you get your money back on this? I mean, correct me if I’m wrong, but it’s expensive because it’s quality, classy, understated, subtle, most people won’t notice and those who do will be fashionable women who admire a slightly masculine cut!

‘Precisely so.’

‘Well?’

‘With the blokes it’s unconscious. Firstly I’m known for being the best dressed male in the room, naturally my “servant” is top draw. But the thing is, and it’s only in the last month or so that I’ve really begun to appreciate this, people want to be associated with you, as much as with me, more in some cases. Have you worked out what all your tips add-up to over a month, added in the things paid for by others on your behalf, gifts - like those Christmas presents?’

‘I don’t have to tell you that!’

‘Of course not, but do you know? People are beginning to wish they had someone like you. Besides, it won’t come to twenty grand if I’m any judge, but the account will be in your name and in credit. It’ll give you a start, Edoardo is well connected in the world of the well-dressed. I still can’t get over Gstaad, that’s like après ski with the producers of movies, the owners of F1 teams…’