151: Constitution

‘Where are you going?’

‘Brenda is demanding a crash meeting.’

‘About what?’

‘If I had to guess, this week’s political machinations at the Park!’

‘I’d better watch your back.’

‘Okay.’

‘Where?’

‘Back of the marina, I’ll try and steer her into the other cafe.’

‘Where you used to take Mary Tufnell back in the day. Piece of cake.’

‘I’m under pressure from the party; they want to know about this Constitution Group meeting at the Park.’

‘And what do you want?’

‘I want to be left alone to get on with building local support so I retain my seat whenever the election comes.’

‘As of now you probably will, since the opposition is so divided.’

‘So, what do you know?’

‘Well, this group has booked in for three days. Longer than usual and the founder of the group, Lord Coates, club member, isn’t exactly over the moon about it. He’s always had this belief that Brexit benefits won’t happen unless you repeal legal and constitutional changes dating back twenty-five years. But now the pressure from below is to forge an alliance amongst all the disaffected groups on the Right, but that means all sorts of people who have failed in the past are now creeping out of the woodwork, looking for a second chance. Coffee?’

We settled in the cafe, my phone pinged with a message, looking up I said; ‘Do you have any security with you?’

‘No. I’m too junior, and at home in my constituency. Why?’

‘Oh, just routine. No, I think the real point is this fringe conference is just the sort of thing that will get the national media buzzing, especially if they spot ex-prime ministers dropping by. People conspiring, that will be their angle. You just need to keep your head down. And the message to your bosses must surely be, infighting on the Right is good for us. How’s your minister?’

‘Feeling the heat, he’s begun to realise that any future delays to local road and rail are going to be squarely blamed on him! Says all that steel girder-ing in your bridge has cost a fortune.’

‘Of course, electric vehicles weigh a ton! Still, our authentic stone facade is well underway.’

‘A watching brief.’ I said to Charlie as she drove us to the club on day one. ‘We stay out of it as much as possible, simply loiter in the lounge and bar, hoping to gather useful intelligence.’

There was a uniformed police presence in the carpark. Requests for ID. And low and behold as we entered the lounge; ‘I want a word with you two!’

‘Don! How are you?’

‘I thought the three of us were friends. But twice you’ve handed royal scoops to your aunt’s coffee table, ladies mag.’

‘We do have to try and be even handed. Besides, there are two autumn stories likely to break before Christmas, where I’m sure we can give each other a helping hand.’

‘Like what?’

‘Well, give you an off-the-record comment.’

‘I meant, what stories?’

‘I suppose both could be called celebrity stories.’

‘Charlie, what’s he talking about?’

‘No idea Don, first I’m hearing about it!’

A while later I saw Frimley emerge from the office looking harassed. ‘Anthony, just the chap. Do help get the club sec off my back, I really can’t be held responsible for attendees, let alone pay for their peccadilloes. You’re the only one with enough authority to put the boot-in.’

‘I’ll do what I can. Charlie and I will be here each day keeping an eye out.’

‘What a fine fellow you are. By the way, the rumour at Westminster is that Brenda’s minister is slowly going mad, begging the PM to reshuffle him, but of course the PM wants him to stay put and carry the can.’

‘Don’t you mean kick the can down the road, from one end of the county to the other.’

‘That’s rather good. Twenty-five years sounds about right then.’ He said, drifting off.

‘Anthony! Here you are.’

‘Buffy.’

‘Still content being a big fish, in a small pool?’ He said, looking around with an air of disdain.

‘Call me old fashioned, but I have this strange liking for getting the job done. Why are you here, your fellow attendees must wish to skin you alive.’

‘Men need to be led; they enjoy the smack of firm government. Talking of which, has Rory arrived yet?’

‘I’ve no idea. As usual I’m merely here to keep an eye on the family silver.’

‘That motorway of yours will never get built.’

‘Oh, but it will, as far as our great cathedral city, along with the old rail link.’

‘How come?’

‘Beyond the point of no return, legally and financially. If they follow our advice then it will come in reasonably on time, and budget. The twenty-five years is for all points West, beyond our bridge over the Morestead line.’

‘What makes you so sure?’

‘Think how many constituencies lie beyond, dependant on that road. And our local MP is ideally placed, to keep the minister in harness.’

‘What has she got on him?’

‘You do not wish to know!’

Once the conference was in session, Charlie and I hung around the hall, otherwise known as the games room. Between games of pool, we’d watch events on the modest, head-high monitor just to one side of the ballroom doors. But there were moments of boredom too, at such times one ends up reading the club noticeboard; ‘Notice to staff. No Lanyards Permitted. ID must be concealed but presented on request.’ Amen to that I thought.

‘Tony, come and listen to this.’ I wandered over. ‘Rory is making his speech, but it’s just his old speech from five years ago!’

‘It’s been billed as the “Flotterton manifesto”; he must have updated it.’

‘No, you can see where he hesitates, realises it’s a topical reference from back along, fluffs the line. Listen.’

‘Now the PM may not permit, er, did not permit, the word austerity to pass his lips, in this he is, was correct, for shaving budgets here and there for a few years will never be enough. The only way out is to cut absolutely the bloated and unnecessary state apparatus, the mindless bureaucracy which has grown around us all over the last fifty years. But, unlike entrepreneurial led growth, cutting the state is not a bottom-up process, quite the reverse. Number Ten must lead by example, the very cabinet table of which we are so proud, only comfortably sits eleven or twelve ministers, plus the Prime Minister himself and the Cabinet Secretary, there to record the minutes. With a reduction in ministries, there would be the chance of real cabinet government, again. Such was the situation the last time this country could call itself great. Now, we have a Cabinet Office employing a staggering eight thousand people.’

‘This is embarrassing, and I'm not even in the room!’

‘A Colonial Office of a few hundred administered an empire, now the same number hand out aid we can ill afford, for projects where we never discover whether they worked or not. A policy of intervention in the affairs of others is an outrageous foreign policy, hugely expensive and merely encourages antipathy towards the West. I say trade, not aid.’

‘Your fantasy of the Anglosphere, the new Victorians...’

‘The NHS has become a monster out of control, creating endless demand, as the population gets ever unhealthier. How wrong Bevan and the men from the ministry were, to believe that the real cost of the NHS would fall over time as less people got ill.'

At which point, one of the ballroom doors opened gingerly, and a shock of blonde hair stuck its head out; ‘Ah, Charlie, Anthony!’

‘We’ve been watching on the screen.’

‘Yes, I was wondering if anyone... I say, no secrets between us three, not for years, right?’

‘It’s word for word; he’s just reading it out!’ Exclaimed Charlie.

‘Yes, I told him to develop it a bit, perhaps he picked up the wrong draft, nerves no doubt, that’ll be it. Lady Prudence is in the front row after all. You surely don’t want the credit for it, Anthony?’

‘By no means! Besides, it was your idea. I was thinking of the rumour mill.’

‘Who have you told?’

‘No one. Do you talk in your sleep? I understand Carrie’s reminiscences, taped by the Don, were heavily redacted for publication.’

‘Good God! Still today’s speech is just the basis for an argument, the great historian is up in a minute, he’ll put flesh on the bones, repeal and restore, that’s the ticket, kick the new puritans into the street, proper restoration, no need for civil war, anyway I must get back...’

‘I thought he’d been cancelled?’

‘No, no he’s here, sat next to Prue, bright as ever, can’t be a day short of eighty.’

150: A month in the country

As usual I was feeling hard pressed to do all that needed to be done before we left for our annual summer vacation, or ‘working holiday’ as Charlie prefers to call it.

I was catching up with a recent tv report on the Abbey station, their hook being that in the act of digging up the carpark, to reinstate platform four, we’d discovered the original dressed stones which had once made up the then higher wall around the town side of the property. In truth of course the rail enthusiasts had long suspected the stones were there and anticipated the need to raise the wall again to reduce noise levels with the return of steam, help obscure the view from the public park opposite and generally better secure the site. Still, the news report amply served our purpose, deflecting as it did attention away from complaining car lovers who nonetheless liked to regularly commute to the capital by train. Then I was interrupted with; ‘A postal communication from the Palace of Westminster, sir!’

‘Good lord!’

‘Indeed, the House of Lords, sir.’

I hastily opened and attended to the letter in question; ‘Blah, blah, blah, oh my lord, Frimley what are you getting into? We’d better go. I’ll explain in the car.’

‘Well, on the face of it, it’s just the noble lord sending me a flyer for the three-day annual meeting of his Constitution Group at the Park. Book now to avoid disappointment, as it were.’

‘But you never do attend.’

‘Precisely. However, it also contains a schedule of the highlights on offer, including a debate on “Civil Service Non-compliance” to be led by one Buffy Trumpton.’

‘I’d hoped we’d seen the last of him.’

‘Quite. Another session on the “repeal and restore thesis”, whatever that is, led by some historian and one on the adoption of the “Flotterton Manifesto” led by Lord Bittadon.’

‘I thought you said Rory was writing a thriller, and he doesn’t like Buffy any more than we do.’

‘Hence Frimley’s covering note, I quote; “My dear fellow I feel I must warn you that the speech you inspired in the former Honourable Rory years ago, and later taken up by my former benefactor, may have returned to haunt us all” Exclamation mark.’

‘I didn’t know Rory was an Honourable.’

‘He’s the above-mentioned Lord Bittadon now, his father recently died.’

‘Oh my god! There’s talk Prue has gone back to him, you don’t think...’

‘More than likely.’

‘So, what you’re saying is, all that nonsense you made up on the spur of the moment whilst staring into the fire with Rory and which appeared in The Beacon is now being taken seriously as future government policy?’ She said, as we unloaded at the back of Checkley Manor.

‘Yes, amongst the right-thinking. Frimley’s group is attempting to straddle the gulf between the once great party and all the disaffected of the last ten years.’ I replied as we came to a halt in the hall. ‘It’s awfully quiet in here, we must be on time for once.’

We found our usual accommodation ready for us. But when we reached the big kitchen there was no sign of life. We finally tracked them down in the library, sat opposite each other, both absorbed in their respective screens. ‘What ho, what ho, aged aunt, your lordship.’

‘Well, I’ll be damned. You’re on schedule. Well done, Charlotte. Can’t be easy, bringing this one to heal.’

‘Well done Charlotte indeed! Take a look at this.’ Said the aunt. We leered at her screen, it showed a mock-up of the cover of the next issue of The Countrywoman, it was a photo of Charlie laughing with Mr and Mrs HRH with the headline, Countrywoman Correspondent Honoured at Windsor.

‘Two too many words, Countrywoman Correspondent Honoured, is better. Your discerning readers will know it can’t be Buck House by the shape of the windows.’

‘Not too tabloid?’

‘You can never be too tabloid.’

Over lunch, Uncle exclaimed; ‘Gregson introduced me to your student gardener the other day. You kept that one quiet. Odd lad, seemed more interested in the house than the estate.’

‘I’m afraid I gave him a copy of the book when he was on placement at the Park, he became as fascinated with the people as much as the landscape.’

‘I see.’

‘Tim, as you might imagine comes from generations of cap-doffing outdoor staff, he has no time for such deference, but his ambition is not for revolution, he’s after a piece of the action.’

‘Shacked-up with his girlfriend over at the cottage as we speak, I must say that’s very liberal minded of Mrs Gregson.’

‘One rule for the rich, beloved?’ Said Julia with deep irony.

‘What?’

‘I say, Uncle, how’s your health? No family history of heart attacks or seizures?’

‘No!’

‘Said girlfriend is the eldest child and heir to one Barnabas Gruber.’

‘Holy Moses!’

‘The vomiting bridesmaid?’

‘One and the same dearest aunt.’

‘Now you listen up, Anthony. This could spell disaster for all of us if it gets out of hand, you still cooperating with this, Gruber?’

‘Uncle, we shared a dorm at school!’

Then Charlie weighed in with; ‘The same could be said of Buffy Trumpton, remind me, how did that work out?’

‘Barmy, now a subject of the Crown, let me assure you, has turned himself into a charitable foundation, much along the lines of the Trust, I’ve just accepted a seat on their board.’

‘And what of the daughter?’

‘In fairness to Tony, Melisa’s been in and out of our place at least a couple of times a week for years, I realise now he’s been mentoring her from the start. I think you can be reassured on those grounds, sir.’

And after a pause; ‘Thank you Charlotte, you’re a blessing, who knows where we’d be without your steady hand. Sometimes I fear for England.’

‘I think you’ll find it’s been this United Kingdom for the last three hundred years.’

And so it all began, our month in the country, it turned out Melisa was only dropping by at weekends, too hugger-mugger with Jack at the workshop and dropping by Royal Oak. I’d gone alone to see the good captain before we left town. I suggested the time might be right, to write inviting Mrs HRH alone, to be patron. The wording would be everything, I asserted as I handed him a draft. ‘It’s very short!’ He responded.

‘Yes. You offer her a free hand, ask nothing but for the privilege.’

In time I bumped into Tim, whilst roaming the grounds. He had his eye in, mentioned south facing slopes conducive to modern commercial orchards, vineyards? I showed him the walled garden and the cellar, normally off-limits to Gregson. ‘But, there’s nothing inevitable about the peninsula becoming the next Bordeaux, this warming could be in retreat in another thirty years. We adapt to what we see today.’ He agreed to help out with an early picking due to the dry weather. Then I hit him with; ‘What do you know about Melisa’s family?’

‘With respect sir, what do you know?’

‘Everything.’

‘Then, you’ll tell me what I need to know, when I need to know it?’

‘Tim, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.’

‘Sir?’

‘Closing line of a rather famous movie. A film about pragmatism, in time of war.’

148: Is that it?

I stood in the car park and waved Daphne on her way, hoping time would prove to be the great healer. Amazing how she couldn’t bring herself to blame her father even a little for dropping her in it for an entire lifetime. That she should be annoyed with me, was par for the course. I needed another drink and made straight for the bar, ignoring all and sundry, abandoning my usual caution and only looking around once I’d quenched my thirst.

‘Tony! Over here.’ Oh, lord. Vic was still here; I’d forgotten about her in all the excitement. ‘Char-lotte, let me tell you, will not, be handling anything for Tuffy. We have been having...’

‘A drink, or three?’

‘A girl’s, heart to heart, on the subject of men, and their needs. Ha!’ And there indeed was Charlie, sat meekly beside the Lady Victoria, though judging by the colour of the liquid in her glass she’d been following her normal modus operandi of not indulging! ‘We agree, she’s done all she can, Tuffy is a lost cause. I shall merely tell him to grow old gracefully, like myself. He must submit to my preferences or forego the marital bed.’

‘Right, excellent, very good.’

At which point Charlie stood up; ‘We must go Vic, we’re on a bit of a schedule, we’ll talk soon.’

‘So, it’s all off then, any thoughts of snaffling millions from Swiss bank accounts.’ Commented Charlie as she drove us homeward.

‘Archie said let it go, so I shall. Besides I have more than I could have hoped for, the meta data is vast, I can work out where my parents were, if not their motives, throughout my early years. Still, at the end of the day, can any of us truly say we know the mind of another?’

‘You mean us?’

‘I mean everyone.’

‘Don’t we all need to understand each other better? Shouldn’t we all be seeking even greater empathy?’

‘That’s very philosophical of you. But no, the answer to both your questions, is no. We just have to get on, as in like being in the presence of. Conversation, explanation is merely a way of passing the time.’

‘Very good, sir.’

Whit bank holiday Monday dawned bright and breezy, I was leisurely surveying the contents of my email when I was genuinely taken by surprise. ‘Charlie!’ I called from my seat in the media room.

‘Sir?’

‘An email from one of your co-conspirators.’

‘Oh, yes?’

‘Barney Benson, sounding me out would you believe, as to whether, should I receive a formal invitation, I’d be willing to accept a seat on the board of the Gruber Foundation.’

‘But? All that fuss that Daphne made, back along.’

‘Precisely.’

‘She must have changed her mind. How? What’s happened? You must have schemed this!’

‘No, no. Unless of course she feels grateful in some way, wants to show her appreciation.’

‘What have you done for her?’

‘Well, this whole secret world thing, I may have inadvertently done the right thing. She may have come to think of herself as a victim over the years, who knows?

‘More like she wants you on the inside pissing-out, rather than on the outside pissing-in!’

Later, in the afternoon, I was at my desk when my concentration was broken once more. ‘Are we in or out?’ Said the voice behind me, adding the usual surly, ‘sir’.

‘Good gracious, is that the time already?’

‘We’ve been in the garden for hours, whilst you’ve been skiving up here.’

‘Then you’ll know whether the weather says in or out.’

‘Out, in fact tea is already on the table, I’m just here to chivvy you out.’

‘Two minutes I promise.’

‘It had better be. Master Timothy wishes to discuss what he’s uncovered at your garden centre.’ And with that she was gone.

‘I mean I realise it’s none of my business, but it’s like people are holding out on me. It must be obvious to everyone that there’s a load more going on round the back. And then there’s that funny little counter that says, “farm shop” but which only appears to open for about half an hour at the end of the day. Some days it has a fair amount of stock, but most days barely anything.’

‘Well Tim, where to begin? Firstly, be in no doubt it is a genuine garden centre, right down to all the extras that such places have added down the years. The difference is that everything sold has come from farms and other business renting land or property from the Trust. And as a business it is directly owned by the Trust and of course is on Trust land. However, there is also the warehouse owned by the Trust, but officially nothing happens there. No money actually changes hands, it’s all bartering, gifting and exchange of goods. You see, the thing is... Why are you all giving me funny looks?’

‘I promise you this is the first I’m hearing about this.’ Charlie said to the others. ‘And we’re coming up to our tenth anniversary!’

‘Yes well, the thing is, I’m taking a risk here Tim, I don’t think your “uncle”, and certainly not my uncle, appreciate quite the trick we’re pulling here.’

‘I like to think I’m my own man, sir.’

‘Good lad, and don’t you smirk young Melisa, pay attention, your father let me tell you is on a buying spree right now, he’ll hoover up every scrap of land in the county and beyond, which either the Trust or the Duchy don’t already have.’

‘So, what is going on behind the handcrafted garden furniture, scented candles and home kitchen carrot cake?’

‘Thank you, Charlie! Well, farmers have always shared and shared alike with neighbours since the year dot, but these days there are extra difficulties. The days of the family owned, middle-sized, mixed farm, where you could be anything up to fifty per cent self-sufficient, are over. Margins are so tight, if you take an evening out to dig your own veg, well you’re burning money.’

‘But the trust’s portfolio has many specialised farms, including market gardens, orchards.’

‘Your ahead of me Tim. All within a few miles of each other, not to mention the craft brewery, and a bakery which is sort of semi-artisanal!’

‘But even so, sir. The transport, time, labour of moving stuff, ordering just when you want fresh produce?’

‘Do call me Anthony, or Tony, Tim! But yes, the trick was ordering online for a delivery within twenty-four hours by the next garden centre van coming your way, or a self-pick-up from the warehouse, but even that began to be uneconomic.’

‘So?’ Said Melisa.

‘Well I might as well say, you’re all in the loop anyway whether you realise it or not. So, I picked the lowest mileage garden centre van took it to Jack’s, he fitted it out with a computer comparable in size to those in our cars, sticks one of Eltham’s dishes in the roof and gives the driver the biggest screen possible, I bang in the best off-the-shelf estimating and logistics software and send the driver off to visit every likely location, every day for a week. Then we have our own map, real times, real distances at various times of day, real fuel consumption, real cost. Then I just had to programme in compulsory refuelling at Jack’s filling station. So, any farmer can feed to the driver’s screen in real time, anytime, or speak to him if it’s some kind of override like, cut flowers and beer for someone’s birthday or whatever! The driver just follows instructions on screen and the receiver gets estimated times of arrival and hopefully a pick-up too. Talking of hope, I’ve an idea that after a full year everyone will be back to traditional seasonal behaviour...’

145: Electric diner

‘Where are we going?’ I asked, as Charlie veered off the usual route to the Park.

‘Jack’s.’

‘But you filled-up a couple of days ago.’

‘I know. But there have been developments, and I need to show you.’

‘You could have just told me.’

‘Well, no not really. You rely too much on me you know. When it comes to the filling station, the classic car workshop, Jack’s other nefarious activities, Fiona, even Mel these days.’

‘You’re my eyes and ears Sparkwell, give me details.’

‘In case you’ve forgotten, sir, the deal was, all those years ago, that I take care of the car, singular. In exchange for free use. What you neglected to explain, was just what your relationship to Jack really is. I really don’t know, what you need to know. But I do know you need to see this.’

‘Yes, you’re quite right, as usual.’ Having parked in the car park we sat and stared. The name above the entrance to what I still think of as the new pay point, come shop, come cafe and comfort break area at the filling station, had changed. Somewhat larger, and now a flashing neon sign, it read Electric Diner.

‘Very American.’ Was her only comment.

‘But at least it’s not on the roof, projecting to the sky. That would have required planning permission one assumes.’

‘Come on.’ Said Charlie, making to exit the vehicle.

‘There’s more?’

‘Of course, the whole interior is made out like a diner.’

‘You’re telling me Jack has forked out for a full interior redesign just a couple of years after the original was built?’

‘Oh, yes.’

‘Didn’t come to me for the money!’

‘Maybe he’s doing better than he’s letting on.’

Whilst the pay point and shop looked substantially the same, the cafe area was altogether different. We took seats at the counter.

‘What can I get you folks?’

‘Blimey!’

‘I say!’ I added, as a uniformed Melisa smiled upon us. ‘Still Jack’s general dogsbody I take it?’

‘No!’

‘Skirt’s a bit short.’ Said Charlie.

‘I’m just here for ten days, overseeing the opening, I’m Jack’s right hand these days.’

‘Masquerading as a waitress in a burger joint. Anyway, what do you recommend?

‘Double cheeseburger with extra fries, a tenner each.’

‘What!’

‘Proper big buns, hand-flipped hamburgers.’

‘Flown in a new short order Chef from Vegas, has he?

‘No, same staff.’

‘Still must have cost a bit.’

‘Jack says the filling station is a profit centre.’

‘First in a thousand years! Two coffees, thank you.’

After we’d had a chance to take in the ambience for a minute or two, the truth suddenly dawned. ‘I know where he’s got this from, Eltham.’

‘How come?’

‘He’s been roaming his social media, picked up what’s been developing with recharging for Makepeace’s US EVs.’

‘Well?’

‘There’s three or four now, combination drive-in, or drive-by, rechargers plus burger joints and cinemas, all retro nineteen fifties style. You park, plug-in, order a meal from the car, it’s delivered to you as you watch a movie on the big outdoor screen.’

‘And pay from your device, presumably.’

‘Of course.’

After a few more minutes Mel returned; ‘Sure I can’t get you anything to eat?’

‘No, I have to keep a tight rein on Tony’s appetites.’

‘So, what are you saying Mel, Jack’s training you up as some kind of personal assistant?’

‘Thinks I’m management material. Good at reading people, seeing opportunities for what they are. He also, well, I think he’s sees how you and Charlie operate and...’

‘He’s older than I am! And he’s been married to his childhood sweetheart for over forty years.’

‘I didn’t mean like that, what do you take me for?’

‘He knows Mel, he’s deliberately misunderstanding, he can’t help himself.’

‘So, does he want you to sell cars, or be a female enforcer perhaps?’

‘I don’t know, all I know is it works, I sort of gather information in, and he says he can think aloud when I’m around, bounce ideas of me.’

‘Oh well, if you’re that important, you should be able to name your own price. Anyway, onward and upward, Charlie we must hit the road.’

‘Might see you later then Tony.’

‘Really?’

‘Well, you’re off to your secret session with Tim, aren’t you?’

‘Not so secret it would seem.’

I went in search of George, our senior grounds person. For although I sort a private consultation with Tim, I’d no intention of queering the pitch for him. He was after all, a student under George’s supervision. I found him sitting on one of the new, old-style park benches, on the far side of the pond, finishing his tuck. ‘Afternoon George.’

‘Mr Arlington, sir.’ He said, doffing a non-existent cap and rising to his feet.

‘Oh, lord. Not you as well, I get enough of that from Sparkwell.’ I said sitting down.

‘But you do deserve respect, you found these benches, they’re actually comfortable to sit on!’ Now he sat back down again.

‘Thank you. Cost a fortune though, we must devise a way of doing our own repairs in the fullness of time.’

‘We have some wood set aside from the new water pipe business, I’ll keep an eye out. Now then, you’re here to ask me about that young Tim, am I correct?’

‘You are indeed.’

‘Soon as he mentioned he was doing your garden, I thought, hello! Not like we’ve had students before.’

‘Well, how’s he doing?’

‘Fine. Good worker, I’d give him a job. But he, has ideas.’

‘And that’s bad?’

‘No, but he’s no Joseph Paxton, is he?’

‘Oh, I don’t know, we must remember Paxton was only twenty-three when the duke offered him the position of Head Gardener at Chatsworth.’

‘Yes, but in case you hadn’t noticed, we’re half the size of Chatsworth.’

‘But the house is a similar age.’

‘Oh, I get it. You like him because you, think he’s like you.’

‘Where is he by the way?’

‘Chatting up the old biddies in the walled garden.’

I stood a moment, half shielded by the iron work of the gates. Tim was demonstrating something about digging to a group of our bungalow residents. Either that, or it was their way of getting someone else to do the work. Enough I thought and strode forth. ‘Afternoon all!’

‘Afternoon Anthony.’ Said Ada.

‘I need to borrow young Tim here for a few minutes I’m afraid.’

‘You will bring him back won’t you, we’re learning ever so much.’ Said another.

‘Of course.’

Once out of earshot, behind the wall where the lean-to potting sheds used to stand, I asked; ‘Did you get the package?’

‘Yes, I’ve made a start, fascinating read, I hadn’t realised your uncle was really such a distant relation of the original earls.’

‘I was hoping it was the details of the original parkland and gardens that would fascinate!’

He laughed; ‘They do sir, honestly, it’s just, well as the title says, “Cattle Rustlers to Courtiers”, the occupants are intriguing. All my ancestors seem so deferential, even some of the living specimens...’

‘Quite, now then, lets walk. My uncle’s scheme always was restoration, the club, the spa, conference facilities, merely a means to an end. The walled garden, a case in point, a reasonable compromise provided the users don’t develop an allotment mentality. The expansion of the golf course to eighteen holes, an opportunity to reorientate the entire place back to what it once was, a house and park with uninterrupted vistas all the way to the sea. Unashamed anti-modernism if you will, big C conservation and not a windmill in sight. Would your lecturers approve?’

‘Probably not. But you’ll get no objections from me.’

‘Good lad.’

144: Interrogation

‘What are we doing today?’

‘I don’t know. Anything in The Beacon?’

‘No.’

‘Now, let’s see.’ I said, looking at my watch and draining my coffee mug. ‘Might as well drift towards the club.’

‘That’s your answer to everything isn’t? We could go anywhere in the world, but no.’

‘But the club is the centre of the world, the world comes to us.’ At which point the doorbell rang. ‘That's odd, something’s happening.’

Charlie sprang to her feet but was back within a second of looking at the monitor; ‘It’s Casper, what’s his face?’

‘You mean Casper Wieck, with a V.’

‘What do I do? He looks a bit frazzled.’

‘Right, er. Be suspicious, ask him what he wants. Er, give me a two-minute head start. The objective is to get him into the media room. I’ll check the cameras, open the channel to Barmy.’

‘Press the panic button.’

‘Exactly.’

‘Good day to you Ms Sparkwell.’

‘What do you want?’

‘I need to speak urgently with you and your, partner.’

‘Yes, but what about?’ She said, making a show of looking up and down the street.

‘Matters of national security are at stake.’

‘Oh, well, you'd better come in then.’

They moved out of shot, but I still heard a bit more of the now fading audio from my seat in ‘command and control’.

‘May I take your hat and coat?’

‘Yes. Might I use your facilities? I’ve been on the road for some hours.’

‘It’s up the stairs I’m afraid, I’ll show you the...’

‘In here Mr Wieck.’ I said standing by the window, making subtle adjustments to the blinds. ‘Do take a seat on the old chaise lounge.’

‘I see.’

‘To what do we owe the pleasure?’

‘You’ve got cameras everywhere!’ He declared, cautiously sitting down.

‘No recording, no talk I’m afraid. I take it you’re wearing a wire. You did say matters of national security.’

‘I see. Ms Sparkwell has legal control of all Murchison’s property and possessions; we require the immediate return of all government property.’

‘Who is this we? I see no police vehicles in the street, nor any unfamiliar unmarked cars for that matter, apart from your own. You aren’t brandishing a court order, correct? It seems to me you’re merely a long retired former employee of Daphne’s late father. Besides, I am not aware of anything that might be described as government property amongst Ken’s stuff. Charlie?’

‘Nor am I.’ She’d now swung her executive chair around to stare directly at Wieck, whilst I’d returned to mine, but with half an eye on the screen.

‘You know perfectly well to what I refer.’

‘You’re thinking of these.’ I said as I put up scans of the two passports, full screen on my large wraparound.

‘Good god!’

‘I’m reliably informed they are genuine Swiss passports, real numbers, real names.’

‘None the less, I must insist on the immediate return of the originals.’

I paused, waiting for more. ‘And?’

‘And what?’

‘And in exchange you are offering us...’

‘Nothing!’ He looked genuinely confused.

‘Oh dear, oh dear me.’

‘You’ve upset him now Mr Wieck, he believes in reciprocity.’ Said Charlie.

I flicked another switch, suddenly Barmy appeared on the rest of my screen.

‘Good lord, is he, is this live?’

‘Oh yes.’

‘Where is he?’

‘Be reassured, he’s not appearing from the heart of your old HQ, but he can green-screen some very clever backgrounds these days, he’s fully kitted-out since Daphne allowed him in from the cold, from the garden shed you understand, he has the whole of the back bedroom to play with now.’

‘I’m not authorised to make deals Mr Arlington.’

‘No, I imagine not. And it doesn’t occur to you what we, well myself to be strictly accurate, might desire?’

‘No. Besides, the passports are no use to you, now you’ve copied them.’

‘Aren’t they?’

‘I’m not at liberty to add anything.’

‘Well, we can come to that later. Tell me, is this a private enterprise on your own behalf Wieck?’

‘What can you mean?’

‘Trying to save your reputation, or protect others, some almighty balls-up years ago, a last desperate attempt to get the toothpaste back in the tube before you pop your clogs?’

‘Most assuredly not!’

‘So, it is something that’s still live, something official, or an official embarrassment involving others?’

‘I cannot say.’

‘Is that because you are just, small fry, a cog in the wheel?’ He paused, seemingly running out of steam. I continued; ‘You’ve waited over a year to come and see us. Now what does that imply I wonder? All the legal stuff was tied up six months ago. Perhaps you've been investigating us, what have you managed to find out?’

‘I can assure you, nothing that’s not in the public domain.’

‘I seem to be doing all the talking Mr Wieck, is that usual with interrogations? I admit I’m rather new at this game.’

‘I was warned about your wit.’

‘Is Casper Wieck your real name?’

‘Of course!’

‘Not a work name, such as my parents appear to have had?’

‘I could not say.’

‘What are you meant to do with the passports, burn them?’

‘No. They will go to the relevant authority.’

‘Of course, because you don’t know much do you. You know what I think Wieck, you coming here, is their last throw of the dice. You come alone, unprotected, to throw yourself on our mercy, I think they need me. I think I’m the only one with even the remotest chance of recovering the real prize, property, cash, any assets held by the Swiss. I think whatever cosy arrangement that allowed for the obtaining of real passports with which to fake an identity, expired decades ago. But assets, sat in a bank... ‘

‘What do you want Arlington, what’s your price damn it?’

‘Oh, I’m coming to that. But first you must realise that for me it isn’t about money. It may be for your lot, but I’ve had access to all the wealth a man could possibly want for decades. And yet, look around you, a four-bedroom villa and a couple of sporty cars.’

‘Two!’

‘Yes, almost identical. And, of course Charlie and I have a track record as responsible subjects of the Crown. Look on the wall Mr Wieck, commendations from the local constabulary, for recovering and returning crown assets in the matter of the last of the Crimean gold. What I want, is the one thing I don’t have.’

‘Well?’

‘I’ve been an orphan since the age of twelve.’

‘We played no part in that.’

‘Yes, I came to that conclusion myself some time ago. But what I want Casper, is to know my parents. I’m in late middle age, my childhood appears in uninvited memories, with ever greater clarity, with every passing day. And I’d rather like to know why Daphne’s daddy and Kenneth Murchison thought I might as a young man, become an asset of some description to the secret world. There’s something called the ‘thirty-year rule’ is there not? I even have a good degree in history from one of our older universities, I could almost be passed off as a legitimate researcher, at a push.’

‘Yes, yes I begin to see.’

‘Here’s my card, if you give us warning next time, you might receive a warmer reception.’

‘Thank you.’

‘Comments, Barmy?’

‘Just that I see no reason to share anything I’ve learnt today, for now at least. I’ll lock it down and back it up. We have our own channel Casper, Tony and I. We are our own server, so to speak.’

When he was gone, Charlie appeared with the pair of tweezers from her bathroom kit; ‘What on earth are you doing?’

‘I’m going to extract all those photos from the gunk of Ken’s old plastic album. As you said back along, there’s bound to be some info on the back of them.’

142: Chilling out

In an effort to avoid ghosts of Christmas’ past, we’d decided to stay on at Checkley until the new year and in the process hopefully earn ourselves some brownie points from the uncle. I’d had the perfect excuse to curtail involvement with the book club and Charlie was relieved of the obligation to produce an ideologically unsound Tea.

But our mutual preoccupations travelled with us and Checkley is an excellent place to ruminate. It being mid-winter I took the opportunity to be brutal in my pruning of the vines. Charlie had her own concerns in the woods, but helped me in the walled garden off and on, particularly in the collecting and tying up of the pruned branches, which if allowed to dry in the barn would burn very rapidly and hot, excellent for barbeques and getting big wood fires underway.

‘I’ve been thinking about Kenneth, when did it start, this thing with Elisabeth?’

‘A year or two after she became a widow, I think.’

‘You said he told you that she’d told him about the circumstances of your parent’s death.’

‘Correct. But alas, that doesn’t help, or appear to help. The reason everyone took the official explanation at face value is that their car, although it went over the edge, didn’t catch on fire. The only passports found by the authorities were the British ones. They showed they’d left Switzerland that day, entered from Italy a week before. It looks like their deaths had nothing to do with anything.’

‘Has adding everyone’s passports to your chart helped?’

‘No not really, not yet. It shows two things so far, one my folks were fans of motoring tours of Europe, and two they never mixed travel on different passports. They were always one thing, or the other.’

‘What next?’

‘Add in data from father’s diaries and daybooks I suppose.’

‘Maybe Ken put himself alongside your aunt because he had the passports?’

‘Capital mistake to theorise without facts, Watson!’

But in truth I was still processing the cascade of news and gossip I’d been hit with at the Christmas lunch. Prudence seemed to have given up not just on Rory but the rest of us. Was that a good or bad thing? But perhaps I shouldn’t have been so dismissive of Rory? That he’d been able to apply his mind to anything, must be a good thing. Perhaps I should do the same, write my own novel. Now what would make a good subject, the way we live now, something from the past, or both? It would need to be positive though, on when the going was good, rather than like most modern writing which seems so, well, downtrodden and doom laden. And so much wishful thinking, rather than trying to get closer to the truth of something. But what about subject? I seem to, of necessity, acquired a mountain of knowledge, albeit a bit superficial, about railways of late. But that was a turn-off for most readers unless it contained the romance of travel with steam locomotives. And even then, thrillers on trains were as well-worn as a Rory Flotterton plot.

That Walpole should have become so territorial about his new home county was rather nice in a way. And fully committed to the railway, though it still wasn’t clear whether Helene welcomed him getting out from under her feet, or not. Was I wrong to be pragmatic with the elder Sparkwell, Walpole was outraged by the man on Charlie’s behalf, should I be the same? Well, it’s action that counts and it would be beyond arrogant to claim an understanding of her experience.

Junior Jack was clearly getting above himself, but that was fine, he’d already showed signs of new learning over the past few years. Charlie was right to seize the opportunity to help him out. The question now, was would the atmosphere of the club and maybe the history of the house, lead him to undo the modernisation of his hotel in order to match what was coming with the railway? At least he had some old photos on the walls of reception I’d noticed, upon which to contemplate.

The real Jack had already embraced respectability; it was just a question of no backsliding. Wainwright? I must find out if she planned to stick around the area, and do what? As for the cabal, the young Turks...

‘Ta-dah! Hey there you two.’

‘Who the devil?’ I mumbled as I looking up from my reverie. There, striking a pose in the entrance to the walled garden, stood Melisa. ‘Where did you spring from.’ I said more audibly.

‘We’re on a Christmas tour, of Tim’s relatives. There are bloody hundreds of them! This is day four, I think.’

‘Well, well, well.’ I replied.

‘How long are you stopping?’ Asked Charlie.

‘Arrived in time for lunch, staying overnight, then off to God knows where tomorrow. Still, Tim says these Gregsons are the really important ones. Can't think why, they’re hardly his closest relatives.’

‘How was lunch?’ I asked.

‘Bit heavy for me, Tim wolfed it down though, all the time hanging on Mr Gregson's words. I was surprised, he was telling him, basically, he should be grateful to you for all you’re doing for him and do whatever you tell him.’

‘Ah, yes that would sort of make sense.’

‘Then Tim asked him if there was any chance, he could take time off today to show him the whole estate and would his lordship and you mind? Then this Gregson said; “Just you leave his lordship to me boy”, and “I’m sure young Missy here could head-off Mr Anthony at the pass”. Then he told me where you’d be, and here I am.’

‘So Mel, you know Tim better than any of us, what does he want, career wise, what does he aspire to?’

‘Well, he doesn’t think that far ahead really; he’s fixed to go to the Park for his first placement, wants your garden centre to be the second, says there is some mystery about it he hasn’t discovered yet.’

‘Really.’

‘But when we entered the grounds this morning, he said how would I like to spend my summers here?’

‘And what do you think of that?’ asked Charlie.

‘Well, it’s all a bit samey, I mean, when you’ve seen one field, you’ve seen them all, haven’t you.’

‘Oh dear.’

‘Tim did the garden for you before we left, I left him for a couple of hours with a thermos.’

‘I know, I get notified of any activity on security.’

‘What, pictures?’

‘Sure, anything around the back gate, back door, front door.’

‘Right.’

‘I’ve always thought he’s a bit of a voyeur on the quite.’ Charlie butted in.

‘So says the greatest exhibitionist I’ve ever met.’ I shot back.

‘Is it true what they say at the club, about there being a sextape online of you two?’

‘I wouldn’t dignify it with the title, Sextape, more like badly edited scraps from the Park’s old static security cameras back in the day. So bad, it’s not easy to work out who is doing what to whom.’

‘The stuff we’ve accidental recorded at home is much better!’ Charlie proudly announced.

‘How could it be accidental, if the cameras are by the entrances?’

‘You must have noticed the ones in the treatment room, put there to intimidate private clients.’ I asserted.

‘Oh, right.’

‘Hardly surprising if you think about it, a professional masseuse fetishizing the materials of her trade.’

‘Ha! Says the man who always joins in with enthusiasm.’

141: Christmas curfuffle

‘She’s left me!’

‘Who?’

‘My wife of course.’

‘Prudence?’

‘Who else?!’

‘It, er, just seems so unlikely, she’s not been in touch with me.’

‘Why would she?’

‘Well... What have you done Rory?’

‘Nothing.’

‘You must have done something, or not done something.’

‘All I did was show her the first few pages of my novel.’

‘Novel! I didn’t even know you could write; I thought Prue did all that for you.’

‘It was putting pen to paper that caused her to leg it to her sister’s, now I’ve got writer’s block.’

‘What’s the book about?’

‘A political thriller of course. Murder, mayhem and sexual intrigue at the heart of Westminster. A dastardly villain, foiled by the hero and his girl assistant.’

‘Oh, yes.’

‘Certain to be a best seller, what with all my inside knowledge and that. That’ll show her.’

‘What exactly did Prue disapprove of?’

‘She said, she accused me of sexing-up a tired old narrative copied from real life.’

‘Thought the villain was based on someone did she?’

‘Yes. A Machiavellian master of spin, who’ll stop at nothing to get to be Prime Minister. Behind the soft eyes, the soft soap and the touchy-feely approach lay a mind obsessed with power.’

‘I see. Of course, something not so different was done on tv about thirty-five years ago if I recall. Though then the PM was very much played as a Shakespearian villain.’

‘Yes, well I was still at school then.’

A moment later we were interrupted by Walpole; ‘Anthony, a word in your shell-like, sorry to intrude.’

‘My dear fellow, you look like you’ve seen a ghost.’

‘I have; I’ve been haunted for three days now.’

‘Good lord.’

‘Tell me I’m hallucinating, they’re not living here, are they? I saw him, and what was presumably his wife, coming out of our supermarket! Helene didn’t notice thank God, otherwise she’d have insisted we be sociable. It was then I thought I must be seeing things.’

‘Henry! You were carrying the state-of-the-art mobile device given you by the railway?’

‘Of course.’

‘Then why, oh why didn’t you immediately text Charlie? Why worry for three whole days until you bumped into me? I mean, the one person in the world likely to be most sympathetic, the one person even more sensitive to the whereabouts of her father than you!’

‘I didn’t want to worry her.’

‘Sparkwell KC and the mother-in-law by proxy, have been coming and going since the summer, he’s retired. They have finally settled on a property in a rather obscure corner of the county, with the aid of friend of the Trust, Thayer.’

‘So, you have the situation entirely under control?’

‘You think I’d, let the side down?’

At which point up wandered Junior Jack. ‘Grand palace you've got here Tony, Charlie about?’

‘Of course, probably rounding up committee members to serve lunch to the staff. Christmas tradition. Talking of which, Christmas Eve is members only. Who let you in?’

‘I am a member. Hah, that’s floored you. Can’t work out how I’d get in on merit rather than have you pulling the strings.’

‘I’m quite respectful of your merits John, taking over from your father as chair of the hotel company and the numerous other leisure interests, director of the railway; but here, here you need influence, two members at least who think you’d fit in, no longer one of them, but one of us.’

‘All right, that’s enough thinking time, who proposed me and who seconded?’

‘And names that would resonate with the current committee, well Charlie would fit the bill as one, the other...’

‘You can’t think can you, I always knew the day would come when I out-smarted you, beat you on your own ground. Think about it, you can let me know any time, no cheating mind.’ Then he walking away, leaving me in peace, I hoped, before lunch kicked-off.

‘Tony!’

‘Ah! The real Jack.’

‘What mate?’

‘As opposed to John who only has the nickname Junior Jack, sorry I’m being bombarded with new news today. How’s tricks?’

‘Electric buses by Christmas they said, ha!’

‘But the buses have arrived, some are on the road already being tested. I saw it on the news.’

‘Must be true then!’

‘The bus company depot is just down the road from you. They’ve put them all in the timetable on their premier routes, allowing cascading on other routes.’

‘And just a few boneshakers to be retained for filling-in, in the unlikely event.’

‘But somewhere along the line someone has cocked-up otherwise you wouldn’t look so gleeful.’

‘Just because a recharger has the capability to rapidly recharge, doesn’t mean it always does.’

‘Oh dear, and if they’re downstream of you, so to speak, and you have increased demand.’

‘It’s really about switching, phasing and timing, or something like that, so they tell me, rather than actual demand, but yes, they can’t recharge fast enough for the number of units they need to push through to meet the timetable. Very embarrassing. If you use the route passing the depot and have just got use to the clean, quiet and sweet smelling, then along comes a broken down...’

‘I see.’

‘...and that’s not the worst of it, you have the new battery trains in view on your journey more often than you might think, and have to pass the rich bastards coming out of our place, not to mention public service vehicles charging away.’

‘Lightens the heart.’

‘I’ve something else that’ll amuse you even more. Wainwright’s retiring.’

‘Retiring! She’s younger than I am, I still think of her as a hot babe.’

‘I’ll tell Charlie.’

‘Sparkwell is in a league of her own I’ll have you know, uncategor-risable.’

‘That’s not a word.’

‘It is, has been for thirty years. Anyway, they’ve not kicked her out, have they?’

‘Thirty-five years of service, full pension. Looking to consult, on the side.’

‘Then you should bury the hatchet, put her on a retainer.’

‘Not a chance. It wouldn’t be gamekeeper turned poacher, she’d be reporting back to the new lord of the manor within days.’

‘Met Mel’s Dad yet?’

‘Sure. Nice bloke, checking us out for his daughter’s sake, but respectful with it. I like that. I assumed he was a mate of yours.’

‘We were at school together.’

‘Course’ you were.’

‘Excuse me Jack, I have to find Charlie before the bun fight begins!’

I had to wander for a bit, but then turning into the corridor, I saw them. All three of them. Standing, but in a huddle nonetheless. Benson, Layton and Sparkwell. Archie seemed to be doing most of the talking, putting them straight about something. Charlie, nodding, listening, could she truly be trusted? Surely, she must be potentially, my greatest blind spot. I decided I had time to stand and stare. Let them notice me. When they did, she came over and said, conspiratorially; ‘It’s the drive-by solicitors.’

‘What?’

‘Out on the white-collar industrial estate, at the end of the motorway. And the others of course, financial consultants, administrative types. They’re the ones leading the pack over sports ground advertising. Only the middle classes can afford tickets these days, and new grounds are all out of town.’

‘Then why the hell are Bernard and Brinkley aping them, their strategy is meant to be niche marketing?’

‘Well, that’s Barney’s point. And Archie thinks we should stay traditional because AI will make, those on the make, redundant soon enough.’

I tried not to smile my satisfaction, since we were clearly being observed; ‘Why are they here today?’

‘Archie’s the guest speaker.’

‘Oh! Excellent, a man of discernment. So, changing the subject entirely, you’ve been asserting your influence I hear, and now it seems there are two people you’ve slipped passed the membership committee whilst no one was looking?’

‘Well, Barney was proposed by Archie, I just seconded him.’

‘And Junior Jack?’

‘I helped him with the form, then proposed him. Like you did for me.’

‘Who seconded him?’

‘I don’t know.’

‘We’re meant to be full-up!’

‘But what’s the point of influence if you don’t use it?’

‘Where the hell is Mackintosh when one needs him?’

‘He’s got his own manor to run.’

140: Swing

‘Captain’s orders, sir. You are to report to his cabin afore noon.’

‘Not aft.’

‘No, sir.’ 

‘How’s his mobility been lately?’

‘Not good, he needs a lift anywhere beyond Royal Oak, his mind seems okay though.’

‘I see, what does he want to talk about?’

‘Absolutely no idea.’

Throughout the autumn, we’d been playing musical chairs, literally. First, we cleared Ken’s flat, anything usable or valuable we stacked around the ground and first floors of the villa. Then we ascended to the second floor and contemplated the two attic rooms, still not in use and still full of the surplus possessions of the late Aunt. We both agreed about the objective, that being to provide two, all be they small, guest bedrooms, but we lacked the will to act. After a couple of days rest and recuperation however, we found the will. Inevitably, more came out than went back in. The two new single bedrooms looked very nice though!

Charlie then took a photographic inventory of what she felt might be useful to Royal Oak, their response was very gratifying, they handed the entire project to the removals division of the not-for-profit second-hand furniture and domestic appliance shop. They in turn gave us their exclusive attention for a day, loading our entire surplus onto the van, proceeded to Royal Oak and allowed them a generous amount of time to select and unload anything they fancied. They then proceeded to the shop for their selection, leaving only the detritus for the dump.

In all this great turnaround, I had at the back of my mind thoughts of my parent’s role in life and what might have spurred Ken’s interest. Charlie had naturally set aside his ‘documents of life’, and graciously allowed me temporary custody of his two passports, which I determined to use to add data to my infographic along with my own first passport and those of the aunt Elisabeth.

‘I’ve been thinking about Ken’s memorial.’ Said Charlie as she steered me towards my encounter with the good captain. ‘It has to be gardens related.’

‘That does have a certain logic.’

‘Maybe the Trust could use the funds to sponsor scholarships in horticulture.’

‘I wasn’t aware young Tim was short of a bob or two.’

‘Bob’s what?’

‘A colloquialism from another age, let me rephrase; I'm not aware Tim is short of the readies.’

‘Well, not necessarily him, but there could be several annually, if the money was properly invested.’

‘Perhaps.’ We were coming to a halt at Royal Oak. ‘Right now, there’s something a little more pressing that I need to discuss before we go inside.’

‘Well?’

‘Mel still volunteers here once in a while, right?’

‘Half a day a week usually, why?’

‘Have there been any rumours about her coming from a wealthy family?’

‘I don’t think so, and anyway she doesn’t come across that way.’

‘If they find out, don’t let Bob, or anyone else for that matter, touch her for funds for the charity.’

‘I don’t get it, I mean I know she’ll push a twenty in the collection box from time to time.’

‘I’ve been at this game for thirty-five years, if she’s approached now, it’ll backfire. It has to come from her. The point is, the Gruber Foundation is a good long-term bet for real funding, numbers that could make their future secure. But it has to be done right. Bob would muck it up. So too, any professional beggars from the charity industry who may be hanging around. Okay? Right, let’s get on with it, I imagine it’ll be hard cop, soft cop again today.’

Royal Oak looked noticeably more, well, ship-shape than on my previous visits. It was also losing its institutional look, helped along a little by some of the pieces we'd donated. Inside the old Admiral’s study, that we so flippantly refer to as “the captain’s cabin”, the transformation was altogether of a different order. Gone were the disorganised contents of the yacht; organised they now made the room look even more cabin-like. It appeared long and cramped, demanding order, with barely enough space for his narrow cot. Two, high chairs and a large plain table, strewn with architect’s drawings, illustrations and lists, rather than maps and charts. Charlie slipped into the free chair, I found space to stand behind her, for all the world like a consort for a queen. ‘Now then, Anthony, time to move to the next phase, our most pressing problem, housing, where can our clients move on to?’

‘Why are you asking me?’

‘Damn it man, you’re one of the biggest property and landowners in the county. And there’s a housing crisis!’

‘Our town properties have an over ninety per cent occupancy, only those in the process of being sold or restored can in any sense be called vacant. And our rural properties have an actual one hundred per cent occupancy rate, one out one in, cheap rents offered to other family or community members. We, in our small way have a profitable farming community, because they’re not owners. Bit like you, your cheap rent is a chance for you to get on your feet, whilst we carry the cost of the building’s upkeep. Besides, your problem isn’t future housing for clients, it’s future work.’

‘But decent secure housing... Many will never work, and those that do will need secure addresses, benefit support...’

‘Sod the practicalities, they’ll take care of themselves, the clients will want to sort them, my point is you’re putting the cart before the horse.’

‘How so?’

‘You sold the idea of this place to me on the basis that clients with mental health issues had particular problems, they feel confined by conventional homes, need to be outside a lot of the time, free to roam, never been able to settle to a timetabled life, least not one that isn’t of their own design, but they do need purposeful work. Perhaps work is the wrong word, purposeful activity, by which I mean, whether paid or not, they must be able to see, at the end of every day, the product of their endeavours. And the same is true of the would-be craftsman, as it is for someone who is just being there for someone else. The kind of place to call home, follows from that.’

‘I see. You’ve clearly thought this through. Which suggests to me, you do have something in mind.’

‘No, just bring me an individual who is enthusiastic about any of the Trust’s activities, then if suitable, accommodation will be part of the package!’

It was Swing Night, the club’s calendar having had something of a rescheduling this year, the golf had been given its own final night entertainment and the Awayday had moved from post-season to pre-season. I was driving on our way to the dance, for we were in traditional mode for the evening event. Charlie had one of her party frocks on and that required the holding open of doors.

‘When I saw Margot yesterday for my hair, she asked if I required colouring. How bad is it getting?’

‘It’s not bad anything! I’ve always liked the style, keeping it up and the sometimes fringe. As for going grey, I really don’t care.’

‘It was noticeable when I did the podcast apparently.’

‘And yet, the Don thought you didn’t look your age!’

After the first dance, I lost track of Charlie. Fiona our part-time marketing manager had included dance cards with the invitations, I doubted they’d catch on. Inevitably I was soon in the company of Daphne; ‘Your Bel has seriously gone to town with the look, I notice.’

‘The New Look, is all she’s about these days, become obsessed with the nineteen forties. She says she wants, to be somebody, something in the media, but you have to have apparent novelty, she intends to be a revival! I blame you, it was these themed dances that gave her the idea.’

‘Then I’m more than happy to take responsibility.’

‘You know she’s good at languages? Well she’s got the sixth form on her side, in her desire to study a four-year French literature course at university, can you believe it?’

‘Four-year?’

‘It’s a sandwich, with a year studying in Paris. Apparently, it’s what you do these days if you want to be finished!’

‘It’ll cost a fortune.’

‘The foundation will pay.’

I don’t know about you but I never walk into a room without a deliberate hesitation. A check in the step, a slight leaning back on the ball of the trailing foot. On this occasion I’d noticed Mel and Tim propping up the bar, sat facing each other. Then I remembered something Charlie had said about Mel becoming a member in her own right using part of her grandfather’s inheritance. Tim was still in work clothes, Mel in something matching. Both of them were drinking pints, of the draught bitter the committee had recently demanded, I’d managed to steer them towards a micro-brewery renting from the Trust.

‘I say, your sister is cutting a dash.’

‘Isn't she just.’ Mel replied

'What brought this on?’

‘She wants to be like mother, isn’t it obvious.’

138: A walk in the park

‘He’s fast isn’t he, how come he’s so fast?’ I said, looking down to the end of the garden.

‘He’s young.’ Declared Charlie.

‘He’s always fast.’ Added Melisa, with a chuckle.

‘And he barely takes five minutes for tea!’

‘He’s always quick to recover too.’

‘Well answer me this Mel, given his height, how come he doesn’t have a stoop?’

‘He's had his spade customised, it's got a longer shaft. Always uses his own tools. Has quite a bag full in the van.’

‘Taken to chauffeuring him around I take it?’

‘We practically live in the van.’

‘Really.’

‘When I cleared out the back of all Mr Mackintosh’s stuff, Jack showed me his van, he has all this great flooring, he gave me a length off his roll.’

‘Does Jack know your father?’

‘I don’t think so.’

‘You should introduce them some time.’

‘Why?’

‘Has Jack explained all the computer electronics in his van?’

‘No, just says it’s all for driver assist, self-drive.’

‘Ah! Actually, it’s more about counter measures shall we say, that’s why I think your dad might be interested.’

‘But he’s official, whilst Jack is...’

‘Your father is an independent consultant, brought in because the state apparatus has trouble keeping up with the private economy, he lets them in on what he thinks they ought to know. Comprende?’

‘I think I might be beginning to!’

‘Why are we doing this?’

‘A walk in the woods, when have you ever been known to turn down a walk in the woods?’

‘Another, “inspecting the works” I meant.’

‘Because Brinkley is insisting on attending this afternoon’s board meeting to hammer home the need for tight accounting. And he will also be nervous about the degree to which the Trust has been lending to the Park company over the water works. I need to be well armoured against attack, not to mention uncle.’

We walked down from the back of the house, on top of the now refilled new trench. ‘It leaves quite a scar on the landscape.’ Observed Charlie, walking in front.

‘Yes, we need to stop people using it as a path, especially if we try and plant new stuff, might be a project for young Tim in due course.’

‘Is it all on a new alignment?’ She said, coming to a halt.

‘More or less.’ I replied, walking on. ‘Once the contractors had realised there was an easier gradient to be had, they were only too pleased not to dig out the old piping. It’s probably modern diggers that make it worth while going deeper to get a better lie, meaning the pump doesn’t have to work so hard.’

‘Hey!’ She said, her voice now a little distant. ‘If you look back, you can see intermittent patches of better tree growth, over there and there.’ I wandered back a step or two. ‘I’m sure that’s where there have been longstanding leaks.’

‘More money saved then.’

In time we reached the restored pumping station, the only point in the parkland where you can hear the flowing river before you see it.

‘Very smart. What’s that?’ She said, looking at a new grey panel in the wall.

‘One of Eltham’s battery storage things, fed from the solar panel on the roof, supplements the mains, covers power cuts as well.’ I fiddled with the keys borrowed from the office. ‘We’ve kept the old back-up generator; it’s just been reconditioned. It’s the electric pump that’s all new, latest computer controlled what’s it! Oh look, it looks just like it does in the catalogue.’

‘What’s the yellow, hazard, electric, nuclear sign thing on the door for?’

‘Oh, just there to keep the curious away. Well, everything looks to be in order. Seen enough?’

‘Expensive.’ She said as I locked-up.

‘It’ll last well beyond my lifetime.’

‘Depends how fast you intend to age. I need to keep you on your toes. Let’s go back another way, where it’s more secluded.’

Uncle and I took our pre-meet at the veranda bar as usual. He opened with; ‘You look flushed.’

‘Tight schedule today, scratch lunch.’

How’s Charlotte?’

‘Fine. She’s here about, somewhere.’

‘Never stops, eh?’

‘She has projects of her own.’

‘Rather putting you in the shade these days.’

‘I’m a contented consort. How’s Julia?’

‘Your aunt is worried about me, damn near stopped me driving here today.’ Then, after a pause; ‘I’m not so old, all things considered, a man’s as young as he feels.’

‘What’s happened?’

‘You know perfectly well. Look, I concede Mrs Gregson is happier now their cottage is done and hence Gregson goes about his business more contentedly, which makes all our lives easier. And, the brickworks, well I’d probably never have got around to it. You force the pace, fine. I know I’m slow, but I’m not incapable.’

‘Pace yourself.’

‘Quite. But why this separate company though, A & C Restorations?’

‘Well, it’s just Charlie and I, quite separate from the Trust. Therefore, in the fullness of time, A & C can merge with Checkley, or Checkley take it over. Maybe one just subsidises the other, but the point is, neither will be subsumed by the Trust. Over time my influence over them is bound to wane.’

‘I see, and ultimately the Park might be more secure too.’

‘Indeed.’

‘Anyway, you’ll be with us within the week, we can talk more then. The two of you are going to be busy, there’s much to be done.’

‘Ah! Small fly in the ointment. Charlie’s parents will be roaming the county looking for a retirement property, we may have to take some time out.’

‘Damn!’

As we left the bar via the lounge, Ada Armitage could be seen deep in conversation with none other than Brinkley. I froze on the spot. Then I remembered the two had met over the matter of the railway station which never had trains. Larry looked distinctly sheepish as we approached their table.

‘Good afternoon young man.’ Ada said with a glint in her eye; ‘I’ve just been asking Lawrence, I may call you that, may I?’

‘Of course, dear lady.’

‘I was just asking Lawrence what he thought my shares might be worth, I shan’t break a confidence by telling you his reply, but I wonder what you think they’re worth Anthony?’

I was acutely aware of uncle’s presence beside me and Brinkley, glaring; ‘Whatever a worthy recipient is prepared to pay.’ It was the best I could come up with on the spur of the moment.

‘Most gallant.’ She replied.

‘We’re in the club committee room when you’re done.’

The business of the meeting seemed to take an age. Uncle took the chair as usual. I reported on the water pipe, the pumping station and the cost. I offered my view on the loan, the period of extension for repayments and a reasonable interest rate that the Park could afford, and I hoped the Trust would approve. Uncle looked pleased, Brinkley bristled. Lawrence then let off steam by outlining the discipline that the responsible staff must show in their accounting methods.

He then surprised us all saying; ‘Finally, changing the subject entirely, I’d like to take the opportunity of informing the board that the Arlington Trust has had a letter from our, other university.’ He then produced said item and began to read aloud; ‘From the “Faculty of Agriculture and Rural Sustainability, Floor Ten, Drake’s Tower, City Campus”. It’s from the “Placements and Apprenticeships Officer” of the “School of Horticulture”, which as we all know is actually located at the opposite end of the county, but they are of course looking to place students, I’m about to send out copies to all parts of the Trust, but I thought I’d just let you know...’

‘Well, I’ll be damned! The lad’s even better organised than I’d imagined. I’ll draft the reply thank you Brinkley.’