Sunday, 5 April 2026

145: Electric diner

‘Where are we going?’ I asked, as Charlie veered off the usual route to the Park.

‘Jack’s.’

‘But you filled-up a couple of days ago.’

‘I know. But there have been developments, and I need to show you.’

‘You could have just told me.’

‘Well, no not really. You rely too much on me you know. When it comes to the filling station, the classic car workshop, Jack’s other nefarious activities, Fiona, even Mel these days.’

‘You’re my eyes and ears Sparkwell, give me details.’

‘In case you’ve forgotten, sir, the deal was, all those years ago, that I take care of the car, singular. In exchange for free use. What you neglected to explain, was just what your relationship to Jack really is. I really don’t know, what you need to know. But I do know you need to see this.’


‘Yes, you’re quite right, as usual.’ Having parked in the car park we sat and stared. The name above the entrance to what I still think of as the new pay point, come shop, come cafe and comfort break area at the filling station, had changed. Somewhat larger, and now a flashing neon sign, it read Electric Diner.

‘Very American.’ Was her only comment.

‘But at least it’s not on the roof, projecting to the sky. That would have required planning permission one assumes.’

‘Come on.’ Said Charlie, making to exit the vehicle.

‘There’s more?’

‘Of course, the whole interior is made out like a diner.’

‘You’re telling me Jack has forked out for a full interior redesign just a couple of years after the original was built?’

‘Oh, yes.’

‘Didn’t come to me for the money!’

‘Maybe he’s doing better than he’s letting on.’

Whilst the pay point and shop looked substantially the same, the cafe area was altogether different. We took seats at the counter.

‘What can I get you folks?’

‘Blimey!’

‘I say!’ I added, as a uniformed Melisa smiled upon us. ‘Still Jack’s general dogsbody I take it?’

‘No!’

‘Skirt’s a bit short.’ Said Charlie.

‘I’m just here for ten days, overseeing the opening, I’m Jack’s right hand these days.’

‘Masquerading as a waitress in a burger joint. Anyway, what do you recommend?

‘Double cheeseburger with extra fries, a tenner each.’

‘What!’

‘Proper big buns, hand-flipped hamburgers.’

‘Flown in a new short order Chef from Vegas, has he?

‘No, same staff.’

‘Still must have cost a bit.’

‘Jack says the filling station is a profit centre.’

‘First in a thousand years! Two coffees, thank you.’

After we’d had a chance to take in the ambience for a minute or two, the truth suddenly dawned. ‘I know where he’s got this from, Eltham.’

‘How come?’

‘He’s been roaming his social media, picked up what’s been developing with recharging for Makepeace’s US EVs.’

‘Well?’

‘There’s three or four now, combination drive-in, or drive-by, rechargers plus burger joints and cinemas, all retro nineteen fifties style. You park, plug-in, order a meal from the car, it’s delivered to you as you watch a movie on the big outdoor screen.’

‘And pay from your device, presumably.’

‘Of course.’

After a few more minutes Mel returned; ‘Sure I can’t get you anything to eat?’

‘No, I have to keep a tight rein on Tony’s appetites.’

‘So, what are you saying Mel, Jack’s training you up as some kind of personal assistant?’

‘Thinks I’m management material. Good at reading people, seeing opportunities for what they are. He also, well, I think he’s sees how you and Charlie operate and...’

‘He’s older than I am! And he’s been married to his childhood sweetheart for over forty years.’

‘I didn’t mean like that, what do you take me for?’

‘He knows Mel, he’s deliberately misunderstanding, he can’t help himself.’

‘So, does he want you to sell cars, or be a female enforcer perhaps?’

‘I don’t know, all I know is it works, I sort of gather information in, and he says he can think aloud when I’m around, bounce ideas of me.’

‘Oh well, if you’re that important, you should be able to name your own price. Anyway, onward and upward, Charlie we must hit the road.’

‘Might see you later then Tony.’

‘Really?’

‘Well, you’re off to your secret session with Tim, aren’t you?’

‘Not so secret it would seem.’


I went in search of George, our senior grounds person. For although I sort a private consultation with Tim, I’d no intention of queering the pitch for him. He was after all, a student under George’s supervision. I found him sitting on one of the new, old-style park benches, on the far side of the pond, finishing his tuck. ‘Afternoon George.’

‘Mr Arlington, sir.’ He said, doffing a non-existent cap and rising to his feet.

‘Oh, lord. Not you as well, I get enough of that from Sparkwell.’ I said sitting down.

‘But you do deserve respect, you found these benches, they’re actually comfortable to sit on!’ Now he sat back down again.

‘Thank you. Cost a fortune though, we must devise a way of doing our own repairs in the fullness of time.’

‘We have some wood set aside from the new water pipe business, I’ll keep an eye out. Now then, you’re here to ask me about that young Tim, am I correct?’

‘You are indeed.’

‘Soon as he mentioned he was doing your garden, I thought, hello! Not like we’ve had students before.’

‘Well, how’s he doing?’

‘Fine. Good worker, I’d give him a job. But he, has ideas.’

‘And that’s bad?’

‘No, but he’s no Joseph Paxton, is he?’

‘Oh, I don’t know, we must remember Paxton was only twenty-three when the duke offered him the position of Head Gardener at Chatsworth.’

‘Yes, but in case you hadn’t noticed, we’re half the size of Chatsworth.’

‘But the house is a similar age.’

‘Oh, I get it. You like him because you, think he’s like you.’

‘Where is he by the way?’

‘Chatting up the old biddies in the walled garden.’


I stood a moment, half shielded by the iron work of the gates. Tim was demonstrating something about digging to a group of our bungalow residents. Either that, or it was their way of getting someone else to do the work. Enough I thought and strode forth. ‘Afternoon all!’

‘Afternoon Anthony.’ Said Ada.

‘I need to borrow young Tim here for a few minutes I’m afraid.’

‘You will bring him back won’t you, we’re learning ever so much.’ Said another.

‘Of course.’

Once out of earshot, behind the wall where the lean-to potting sheds used to stand, I asked; ‘Did you get the package?’

‘Yes, I’ve made a start, fascinating read, I hadn’t realised your uncle was really such a distant relation of the original earls.’

‘I was hoping it was the details of the original parkland and gardens that would fascinate!’

He laughed; ‘They do sir, honestly, it’s just, well as the title says, “Cattle Rustlers to Courtiers”, the occupants are intriguing. All my ancestors seem so deferential, even some of the living specimens...’

‘Quite, now then, lets walk. My uncle’s scheme always was restoration, the club, the spa, conference facilities, merely a means to an end. The walled garden, a case in point, a reasonable compromise provided the users don’t develop an allotment mentality. The expansion of the golf course to eighteen holes, an opportunity to reorientate the entire place back to what it once was, a house and park with uninterrupted vistas all the way to the sea. Unashamed anti-modernism if you will, big C conservation and not a windmill in sight. Would your lecturers approve?’

‘Probably not. But you’ll get no objections from me.’

‘Good lad.’

Thursday, 2 April 2026

144: Interrogation

‘What are we doing today?’

‘I don’t know. Anything in The Beacon?’

‘No.’

‘Now, let’s see.’ I said, looking at my watch and draining my coffee mug. ‘Might as well drift towards the club.’

‘That’s your answer to everything isn’t? We could go anywhere in the world, but no.’

‘But the club is the centre of the world, the world comes to us.’ At which point the doorbell rang. ‘That's odd, something’s happening.’

Charlie sprang to her feet but was back within a second of looking at the monitor; ‘It’s Casper, what’s his face?’

‘You mean Casper Wieck, with a V.’

‘What do I do? He looks a bit frazzled.’

‘Right, er. Be suspicious, ask him what he wants. Er, give me a two-minute head start. The objective is to get him into the media room. I’ll check the cameras, open the channel to Barmy.’

‘Press the panic button.’

‘Exactly.’


‘Good day to you Ms Sparkwell.’

‘What do you want?’

‘I need to speak urgently with you and your, partner.’

‘Yes, but what about?’ She said, making a show of looking up and down the street.

‘Matters of national security are at stake.’

‘Oh, well, you'd better come in then.’

They moved out of shot, but I still heard a bit more of the now fading audio from my seat in ‘command and control’.

‘May I take your hat and coat?’

‘Yes. Might I use your facilities? I’ve been on the road for some hours.’

‘It’s up the stairs I’m afraid, I’ll show you the...’


‘In here Mr Wieck.’ I said standing by the window, making subtle adjustments to the blinds. ‘Do take a seat on the old chaise lounge.’

‘I see.’

‘To what do we owe the pleasure?’

‘You’ve got cameras everywhere!’ He declared, cautiously sitting down.

‘No recording, no talk I’m afraid. I take it you’re wearing a wire. You did say matters of national security.’

‘I see. Ms Sparkwell has legal control of all Murchison’s property and possessions; we require the immediate return of all government property.’

‘Who is this we? I see no police vehicles in the street, nor any unfamiliar unmarked cars for that matter, apart from your own. You aren’t brandishing a court order, correct? It seems to me you’re merely a long retired former employee of Daphne’s late father. Besides, I am not aware of anything that might be described as government property amongst Ken’s stuff. Charlie?’

‘Nor am I.’ She’d now swung her executive chair around to stare directly at Wieck, whilst I’d returned to mine, but with half an eye on the screen.

‘You know perfectly well to what I refer.’

‘You’re thinking of these.’ I said as I put up scans of the two passports, full screen on my large wraparound.

‘Good god!’

‘I’m reliably informed they are genuine Swiss passports, real numbers, real names.’

‘None the less, I must insist on the immediate return of the originals.’

I paused, waiting for more. ‘And?’

‘And what?’

‘And in exchange you are offering us...’

‘Nothing!’ He looked genuinely confused.

‘Oh dear, oh dear me.’

‘You’ve upset him now Mr Wieck, he believes in reciprocity.’ Said Charlie.

I flicked another switch, suddenly Barmy appeared on the rest of my screen.

‘Good lord, is he, is this live?’

‘Oh yes.’

‘Where is he?’

‘Be reassured, he’s not appearing from the heart of your old HQ, but he can green-screen some very clever backgrounds these days, he’s fully kitted-out since Daphne allowed him in from the cold, from the garden shed you understand, he has the whole of the back bedroom to play with now.’

‘I’m not authorised to make deals Mr Arlington.’

‘No, I imagine not. And it doesn’t occur to you what we, well myself to be strictly accurate, might desire?’

‘No. Besides, the passports are no use to you, now you’ve copied them.’

‘Aren’t they?’

‘I’m not at liberty to add anything.’

‘Well, we can come to that later. Tell me, is this a private enterprise on your own behalf Wieck?’

‘What can you mean?’

‘Trying to save your reputation, or protect others, some almighty balls-up years ago, a last desperate attempt to get the toothpaste back in the tube before you pop your clogs?’

‘Most assuredly not!’

‘So, it is something that’s still live, something official, or an official embarrassment involving others?’

‘I cannot say.’

‘Is that because you are just, small fry, a cog in the wheel?’ He paused, seemingly running out of steam. I continued; ‘You’ve waited over a year to come and see us. Now what does that imply I wonder? All the legal stuff was tied up six months ago. Perhaps you've been investigating us, what have you managed to find out?’

‘I can assure you, nothing that’s not in the public domain.’

‘I seem to be doing all the talking Mr Wieck, is that usual with interrogations? I admit I’m rather new at this game.’

‘I was warned about your wit.’

‘Is Casper Wieck your real name?’

‘Of course!’

‘Not a work name, such as my parents appear to have had?’

‘I could not say.’

‘What are you meant to do with the passports, burn them?’

‘No. They will go to the relevant authority.’

‘Of course, because you don’t know much do you. You know what I think Wieck, you coming here, is their last throw of the dice. You come alone, unprotected, to throw yourself on our mercy, I think they need me. I think I’m the only one with even the remotest chance of recovering the real prize, property, cash, any assets held by the Swiss. I think whatever cosy arrangement that allowed for the obtaining of real passports with which to fake an identity, expired decades ago. But assets, sat in a bank... ‘

‘What do you want Arlington, what’s your price damn it?’

‘Oh, I’m coming to that. But first you must realise that for me it isn’t about money. It may be for your lot, but I’ve had access to all the wealth a man could possibly want for decades. And yet, look around you, a four-bedroom villa and a couple of sporty cars.’

‘Two!’

‘Yes, almost identical. And, of course Charlie and I have a track record as responsible subjects of the Crown. Look on the wall Mr Wieck, commendations from the local constabulary, for recovering and returning crown assets in the matter of the last of the Crimean gold. What I want, is the one thing I don’t have.’

‘Well?’

‘I’ve been an orphan since the age of twelve.’

‘We played no part in that.’

‘Yes, I came to that conclusion myself some time ago. But what I want Casper, is to know my parents. I’m in late middle age, my childhood appears in uninvited memories, with ever greater clarity, with every passing day. And I’d rather like to know why Daphne’s daddy and Kenneth Murchison thought I might as a young man, become an asset of some description to the secret world. There’s something called the ‘thirty-year rule’ is there not? I even have a good degree in history from one of our older universities, I could almost be passed off as a legitimate researcher, at a push.’

‘Yes, yes I begin to see.’

‘Here’s my card, if you give us warning next time, you might receive a warmer reception.’

‘Thank you.’

‘Comments, Barmy?’

‘Just that I see no reason to share anything I’ve learnt today, for now at least. I’ll lock it down and back it up. We have our own channel Casper, Tony and I. We are our own server, so to speak.’


When he was gone, Charlie appeared with the pair of tweezers from her bathroom kit; ‘What on earth are you doing?’

‘I’m going to extract all those photos from the gunk of Ken’s old plastic album. As you said back along, there’s bound to be some info on the back of them.’