124: Winners and losers

‘That’s not a good look, is it?’ Said the first of the election commentators sat at the club bar with their necks craned towards the tv.

‘Rain pissing down and can’t even get the police to stop the idiot with the ghetto blaster!’ Said a second.

‘I hear Mackintosh isn’t even running a book, local or national.’ Replied the first.

‘But they’re under starters orders!’ Opined the second.

‘The game is on.’ Asserted the first.

‘The phrase is Shakespeare’s, it’s; “The game’s afoot”, Henry V.’ I helpfully interrupted.

‘What ho, Antonio! Mackintosh unwell, is he?’ Enquired the second.

‘No, he just thinks, like most people, that the outcome is a foregone conclusion.’

‘But people will bet on anything. Even the number of bricks in a cell.’ Mumbled a third.

‘You might have tipped us the wink on the date Tony.’ Said the first.

‘I’ve no inside track since the demise of Buffy I’m afraid.’

I find the banality of conversation at the club quite reassuring at times. And it often gives one a surprising feeling of superiority. However, I felt a slight inner anxiety about the election result. Always the unexpected, the unpredictable. ‘Events dear boy, events’ I thought to myself.

A few weeks into, what seemed an interminable campaign, Charlie declared; ‘Blimey! A text from Buffy, “see link”, what on earth? Perhaps I should change my number?’

‘Probably his timely intervention.’

‘What?’

‘I received an email earlier linking to a pre-publication article for The Beacon.’

‘But why?’

‘Well, Buffy needs to show loyalty to the party at least, whatever he thinks of the Head Boy.’

‘I meant, why include me?’

‘He’s a fan, hoping for your support. He’s never not campaigning. You know, when we last met a year ago, he was raving about Rory’s disloyalty, saying I could have him back now, and the same applied to Carrie. He suggested a swap, you for Carrie.’

‘Jesus! What a creep. What did you say?’

‘Unfortunately, that’s his idea of witty banter amongst the boys. I was angry and just said something like “ha, ha, very funny”, and left.’

‘That was the day he lost the dog, wasn’t it? Was he found?’

‘Oh, yes. Just in the wrong bedroom, trying to hump an antique armoire!

The bottom dropped off one of Charlie’s treats as she was dunking it in her extra strength, stay awake all night, coffee. The tv having just announced the exit poll, giving the hitherto opposition, a handsome majority way beyond Buffy’s previous effort; ‘That’s unreal, isn’t it?’

‘Sure. But then leaving a D-day commemoration early is unreal.’

Then we settled in for the long haul of eccentric election night live broadcasting. Much of the amusement deriving from the need to fill so much ‘dead air’!

‘Well at least it’s more fun than the coronation!’ Charlie commented, referencing the last occasion upon which she’d countenanced a period of extended viewing. Then; ‘What’s “smart politics”?’

‘Haven’t a clue. Perhaps it involves “joined-up thinking”.’

A bit later I thought I heard someone on screen say; ‘The Greens will be holding the new government’s feet to the fire over global warming.’

At one point in the endless lull, a sudden thought occurred; ‘Oh! I meant to ask, how did it go with Melisa and Archie?’

‘She said it was nice not being treated like a child. He was very good, after he’d done all the ID stuff, he was quite up front about what he knew about the situation at the old bank and with her parents. He talked about how she needing personal financial independence plus an ability to protect her family’s assets. She said you’d said she should do a night school accountancy course. He agreed, but not just for the self-employed or individual businesses, but how banks, trusts, foundations and charities differ in their accountancy methods.’

‘Excellent.’

‘Then he said what I was thinking, the earlier you make a start on that stuff, the easier and less time consuming it will be.’

‘And maybe good news for you too, a lifelong financial supporter for your favourite charity perhaps?’

‘I know you can’t help it, but really!’

Then suddenly, out of the blue a tv voice said; ‘And now we can go over to the Riviera Conference Centre for the Bay area result.’ The chief returning officer and the commentators really need not have said anything, the faces on the stage said it all. Rory, looked lost and confused; Brenda deeply serious, wishing to appear errorless on tv. The result was almost an exact reversal from the last time. What had appeared a comfortable majority for Rory at the time, now handed to Brenda. Long may it last I said silently to myself.

We stayed watching until Buffy’s result came through, a much-reduced majority, but he’d survived to fight another day. It was now becoming clear that the predictions of the exit poll were to be realised. ‘So, what do we make of it all?’ Charlie asked as she switched off.

‘More public spending masquerading as liberalism, the country flushing more assets down the toilet.’

‘Buffy was always a joke; Rory was always a joke.’

‘We play the cards as they fall.’

‘So, what is your Brenda?’

‘She, is damage limitation.’

‘What’s the answer then?’

‘Economic growth. But what the politicians never seem to face up to is that public investment rarely leads to growth, whilst leaving money in the public’s hands, does!’

‘I’m going to bed.’

The following morning, what had started in rain, ended in rain.

A few days later I was loitering at the Park when I noticed Rory slumped in one of the easy chairs in the lounge. Being a prudent man, I went first in search of Prudence. I found her by the pond looking pensive. ‘I hope you’re not here to gloat?’ she said.

‘Merely to commiserate.’

‘As if you care.’

‘Care? For you and Rory, naturally. For a career in politics, not a jot.’

‘Rory has suffered reputational damage; he’ll not be selected again.’

‘Still, you have your fall-back employment lined-up I take it?’

‘I haven’t had time, I’ve been fighting Rory’s corner, alone!’

‘There is a limit you know, to how much you can mould someone. You might take a leaf out Lady Victoria’s book, regarding Tuffy Tufnell. Just find something for Rory to do that makes him feel useful.’

‘Is that your approach with Charlotte?’

‘Oh no, she’s a law unto herself, but then she is a going concern.’

‘Oh, just go away.’

‘Goodness, Rory! I hadn’t expected to see you here. I thought you’d be lying down in a darkened room somewhere.’

‘I was, until Prudence threatened to... Well let’s just say she was threatening.’

‘I just wanted to say how sorry I am for your loss and that if you’re in need of a job, well, I understand our garden centre is looking for temporary summer staff.’ Then, after a moment I thought better of it; ‘Sorry, shouldn’t be facetious.’

‘I quite like flowers; they bring joy you know?’

‘Really.’

‘I might like running a flower shop, I could use my severance package. Though Prudence would never countenance it I suppose.’

‘I imagine not, but then you don’t have to do everything to please her. You could tell her to like it, or lump it.’

‘Oh, I don’t think I could ever do that.’

Then, thankfully, we were interrupted by the club secretary. ‘A quick word in your ear Tony, if I may?’

‘What’s going down?’

‘That’s what I was going to ask you! Fact is, well we’ve had a booking for conference facilities from Frimley and his Constitution Group again.’

‘Nothing wrong with that.’

‘No, no. It’s just, if we’re seen to accept his lot, then we can’t very well be seen to refuse the other lot, them being in government now.’

‘Quite right too. Have you had a request from the other lot?’

‘No, but it’s only a matter of time.’

‘What makes you say that?’

‘Well with growing power, comes a growing sense of entitlement.’