Don Wooley’s manipulation of his own profession was a joy to watch. On the evening of day one, it was regional news which led with Charlie’s pictures of police vehicles, sirens whining as they dodged early commuters and a voiceover saying; ‘The new Riviera Railway’s efforts to clean up the Bay Area were interrupted today by a police raid on the storage units of a prominent local businessman suspected of dealing in stolen goods. ...He was arrested but later released without charge...’
The following day, The Beacon ran a full-length feature article on the new railway itself. Included were side features on ‘old friends of this paper’; that well known legal eagle Henry Walpole and railway mascot Charlie Sparkwell clad in porter’s uniform! Also on day two, regional news reported on the reopening of the old garage at the Abbey station, explaining how it was returning to its pre-combustion engine role as a bicycle workshop and hiring centre which would also manage the bicycle racks for the station which now featured down the street side of the extended forecourt. The unveiling of the pre-war petrol pump was introduced as an emergency source of petrol for locals when normal supermarket sources inevitably moved to all electric. Jack unveiled the pump and explained the role of the new, old garage, graciously refusing to criticise the police when pressed by the media about his wrongful arrest the previous day.
Finally, the day after that, Charlie made it to the cover of The Beacon, not for the first time, with a picture of her cutting the ribbon at the new, green, old bicycle workshop.
Later that week we were enjoying tea alone in the kitchen, it being a non-Kenneth day, when Charlie, who had just returned from a rare shopping expedition to our great cathedral city, suddenly announced; ‘There’s a plot afoot, sir!’
‘What, a dastardly and cunning plot?’
‘You might think so.’
‘You’ve been listening to Archie Layton I wager.’
‘Not only that, I've been participating.’
‘How so?’
‘I think I may have been co-opted into the making of a conspiracy.’
‘Good lord! Though not if you tell me all about it of course, then it won’t be a secret anymore and therefore not a conspiracy.’
‘Well, either way, I walked into the bank at eleven forty-five and walked out with Archie fifteen minutes later en route to his favourite lunchtime haunt.’
‘The over-priced coffee emporium?’
‘Precisely so, as you might say. We had barely had the chance to sit down when in waltzed “young Benson” from Bernard’s office and after ordering God knows what, casually sat with us like he was expected.’
‘I see.’
‘There was a load of chat about how we must all be of a similar age, of having shared interests, of the need to stick together, claim our rightful inheritance, the moment being upon us, all for one and one for all!’
‘My word. And how are the three of you planning to overthrow the “ancient regime”?’
‘Well, it’s not so much an overthrow. Barney just thinks he’s being groomed by Bernard.’
‘Excuse me?’
‘Barnabas Benson, thinks Bernard sees him as the heir apparent, in the fullness of time, when it comes to the Trust, the Park and the club accounts. There’s already talk of Barney sitting-in on Trustee’s meetings.’
‘I see. So, Benson is a Barnabas too, most confusing, what with Barmy Gruber being one as well.’
‘And that’s another thing, there have been overtures from the Grubers. Soundings taken about Barmy and Daphne moving their financial and legal stuff over to us at the old bank.’
‘Oh, good. That has been a scheme of mine for many years.’
‘And Archie thinks his next move, should be for him to join the club.’
‘Ha! He’s come around, now that is a sign of age.’
‘He wants you to propose him and then me to second.’
‘Hence, he’ll walk it. So, how do your fellow conspirators see your role in all this?’
‘Well, apparently I sit at the right hand of the prince of darkness himself, privy to all the secrets of the main man, the principal mover and shaker in the whole enterprise.’
‘Is that how they see me?’
‘It’s easier to accept you’re being out-smarted, if you think you’re dealing with the devil himself.’
'Well, well, well. So, my valet has reverted to being a varlet!’
‘What?’
‘When the French varlet first becomes the English valet, it was thought of as at best an unprincipled role, at worst blatantly dishonest!’
‘Ha, ha, ha.’ And after a pause; ‘So what do you think, should I play along?’
‘Oh indeed. I mean for your own sake if nothing else. The future of Royal Oak for one thing, you'll want a friend who can find you a prominent patron, plus someone else prepared to hustle for sponsorship deals and such like.’
‘That’s brilliant. But how much do I confide?’
‘You play both sides off against each other, me and them, as it were, then act purely out of self-interest.’
‘Which is what you’d do.’
‘Naturally.’
Then Charlie’s mobile pinged; ‘Oh my God!’
‘Yes, my child?’
‘No, shut up, this is serious.’ And after a pause. ‘It’s a message from Melisa. “Just to say I won’t be around for a while. Grandpa has just died and Mummy is giving out jobs and instructions to everyone about things to be done by yesterday.” Blimey!’
‘I’ll go upstairs, phone and try to speak to Daphne, I may be some time.’
‘That was a rummy conversation if ever there was one.’
‘How’s Daphne holding up?’
‘Fine for now, it would seem. Daddy's passing being somewhat anticipated apparently, not least by the man himself. The instructions referenced by Mel were issued by him.’
‘Are we involved?’
‘Yes. And of most pressing concern is that my name is on the list.’
‘The list?’
‘The list of those whom Daddy wanted at his obsequies.’
‘Are you going?’
‘Such is Daphne’s wish. Also on the list is one Kenneth Murchison. I’ve been deputised to deliver him, there and back, in one piece.’
‘Where is there?’
‘Daddy’s Cotswold cottage. Well, they always call it a cottage, but it is quite a substantial property. He had also acquired, many moons ago, a plot in the village churchyard for his late wife and himself.’
‘So, you’ve been there before then?’
‘Yes, a couple of times, with Daph in the old days. Nonetheless, she has given me quite specific instructions on the current quickest route to get there, and where the best comfort break, stop-offs are. She’s running a tight ship, one might say. We have also been instructed to stay for the wake, for an hour or so at the very least.’
‘All seems a bit over the top.’
‘Well, as Kenneth once said, she’s always been terribly loyal to her father.’
‘What was he like?’
‘Good question. Vague, evasive, but all wrapped up in a terribly pleasant and polite manner.’
‘Bit like Ken then.’
‘Yes.’
‘Did he approve of you, as a suitable suitor for his daughter?’
‘Oh! I don’t know, I certainly could never tell.’
‘Who will be the other “invited” mourners?’
‘Apart from family, I’ve no idea. Could turn out to be something of a spooks and snoopers convention for all I know, I'd better call Kenneth.’
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